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To Watch Tonight
Watch to watch while find your own damn TV listings ......

Now This Is The Way To End A Press Conference
One might say that Bill Stewart is heavily invested in the state of West Virginia: Not only does he coach the Mountaineers, but he was born and raised there. The following video doesn't quite rise to the level of a Jimmy Patsos email, but it's head-scratchingly wonderful nonetheless....

Visanthe Shiancoe Becomes A Big, Bright, Shining Star
For the second Sunday this season I received a text message regarding an unlucky football player's unleashed member. Granted, KOGOD's "Locker room cock pic. Any thoughts?" message was less frantic than poor Tanner Cooley's after his brother's unfortunate slip-out, but it was still memorable in the s...

Kevin McHale To Take A More Active Role In The Failure Of The Timberwolves
The Minnesota Timberwolves are 4-15, which is not the worst record in their division, but it's far from the best. Obviously, Vice President of Basketball Operations Kevin McHale will not tolerate such underachievement, so he has rightly fired head coach Randy Wittman and replaced him with the only m...

SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....

The Cultural Evolution of Brian Collins' Unwanted Catchphrase Continues
Via World of Isaac:...

FOX Broadcasts Some Viking Locker Room Dong
Thanks to everyone that sent us pics of this. It's hard to get emotional about Vikings head Brad Childress' son going into the Marines when there's all this flaccid black cock staring me in the face. Pretty sure Heidi Klum has the same problem when she's taping Project Runway, but we're getting off-...

Michael Vick Spent $201K On The Day He Went To Jail
First off, I think it's a ton of shit when the media point to professional athletes as people that "have it all," as they've been saying about Plaxico Burress, for example. One thing they don't have? Common sense, apparently (who wears sweatpants to a club?) Michael Vick reaffirmed as much, when a r...

How Great Was That Play? So Great I Could Punch My Coach In The Face!
BeamerBall had a new wrinkle installed before its clash with Boston College in the ACC Championship yesterday. Anytime Virginia Tech comes up with a big play, someone walks up next to Coach Beamer and knocks him upside the head. Must've worked, as the Hokies took care of business yesterday and walke...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Bowling: Lumber Liquidators PBA Tour Is there something with those 80s-ish PBA commercials on ESPN that I just don't get? Big hair and tight pants don't exactly inspire me to watch bowling on TV. Even if I do get to wear my own shoes. [ESPN]...

Big XII Championship Live Blog: #2 Oklahoma Vs. #20 Missouri
Now that you're all hero-ed out from the SEC Championship, certainly there's enough quarterback love letters in your back pocket for Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel in the Big XII Championship in Kansas City. The Sooners are about 17-point faves, which means the live blog will be interesting by, oh, m...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• NOON — CFB: Army vs. Navy, CBS. Pittsburgh at UConn, ESPN. East Carolina at Tulsa, ESPN2. NCAA Division II Semi-Final, ESPN Classic....

MAC Championship Live Blog: #12 Ball State Cardinals Vs. Buffalo Bulls
This is pretty much the only way Ford Field gets to host a championship football game. The Chirpin' Birds of Ball State will try to stay undefeated — again — against the blue-colored Bulls of the University At Buffalo. The winner gets to move on to play an important bowl game ... in the SAME FOOTBAL...

Free Darko Stutter-Steps The Universe, Don't You Know?
Shame on me. I have neglected to plug Free Darko's "The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game.." But I encourage all of youwho enjoy their sports books stuffed with the type of illustrations and freewheeling batshit basketball ephemera that will rock the bo...

Facebook and Deadspin: Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
Have you been trying to leave comments on Deadspin for years only to be stymied at every turn by heartless, humorless combudsmen? You've always known that if you could just get that first comment approved, then everyone would see how funny you really are, right? Well, today's your lucky day, camper,...

Federal Judge Blocks NFL Suspensions
Have you made your NFL picks for this weekend? (Just for fun! No money, right?) You might want to hold off on a couple of those games, since a few of the rosters won't be finalized until a judge makes up his mind about the suspensions of the six players who received four-game bans for using an illeg...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you enjoy a tasty vending machine pizza ......

Deadspin Deleted Scenes: The One With Sean Avery's Dildo Problem
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another - usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolut...

Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...

Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...