v Page 3274 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Well, That's One Way To Inspire A Child
So, somewhat recently cut Minnesota Vikings defensive lineman Darrion Scott is a charming fellow, full of love, hope and child-rearing tactics that you might not find in the Oprah magazine. Let's take a look into Scott's fortitude-building attempt at putting a plastic bag over his son's head....

MLB To 'Draft' Negro League Veterans; Mets To Overpay The Pitchers As Usual
Whenever Dave Winfield and Bud Selig come together to cook up an idea, you know it's going to be good. Reportedly it was the two of them who came up with this one: a ceremonial draft of Negro League veterans by all of the Major League teams, to be held next month. Expect the Nationals to actually in...

Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top
The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 vic...

Merciful God Answers Prayers, Ends Game 1 Of Cavs-Celts Series
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who woke up this morning without Internet access and had to rush off to a Caribou Coffee, where the "free WiFi hotspot" actually cost him a bag of Deep River potato chips. When he's not finding a way to do his Deadspin column at the last second, he can be fo...

NBA Playoffs: A Tuesday Night Viewer's Guide
Ah, sweet Tuesday...still 20 percent better than Monday. Basketbawful is here to help you celebrate that fact and disentagle all those thoughts you thought you had about tonight's Cavs-Celtics game....

GSTF Tour Returns ... In Milwaukee!
Well, in all the hullabaloo of the last week, we'd almost forgotten: We have a reading in Milwaukee this week! It had slipped past us, what with all the dumbing-down of America....

When The Horses Unite, All Will Fall
No longer will the horses stand idly by while we whip them into submission and destroy their ankles and other important pivots. The rebellion has begun. We attempted to warn you. But you arrogant human beings did not listen....

Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief....

Media Approval Ratings: Norman Chad
First off, don't get our own Rick Chandler started on poker analyst and "comedy" columnist Norman Chad. You really don't want to know....

White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...

At Least SOMEONE Can Take Off The Favre Jersey Without Making A Whole Stink About It
Remember that kid who wore his Brett Favre jersey for four straight years? Well, either because Favre has retired or puberty is just around the corner, the kid has finally taken it off....

Streakin' Ain't Easy
Unless, of course, you are Tiffany May, who reached mid-level internet notoriety thanks to her patriotic half-streak during the USA v. Honduras qualifying match last March. May has parlayed her spirited underwear dash into a Playboy pictorial, where she will bravely ditch the rest of her clothes and...

The Buzz Bissinger Affair, In Song (And I Feel Fine)
It's The End Of Sports News As We Know It [YouTube]...

Fred Lynn Is America's Fishing Buddy
Former major leaguer Fred Lynn is probably one of the nicest guys on the planet. He's a man who's brimming with self-contentedness and is disarmingly friendly. After you speak with him for two minutes, it's no surprise that seemingly every dude who grew up in New England in the past 40 years is so o...

Media Approval Ratings: Jay Mariotti
Of all the Jay Mariotti moments we've chronicled around these parts, our favorite was when he complained to Wikipedia about all those negative words about his page. He is a very sensitive boy....

A Beautiful Day to Watch Others Exercise
• In Progress — NBA: Boston Celtics vs. Atlanta Hawks. Mike Woodson tried to get excited for Game Seven, but he's just so steamed about that Rookie of the Year vote. [ABC] • 2:00 — NHL: Pittsburgh Penguins vs. New York Rangers. Can the Penguins close them out? Are you still reading? [NBC] • 3:00 — P...

BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

The Updated Story on Marvin Harrison
Details remain scant out of Philadelphia following a shooting outside of Playmakers, Marvin Harrison's establishment in North Philadelphia. The Indianapolis wide receiver has been questioned by police as part of the investigation, but he is not considered a suspect at this time....

For Your Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• Her. • 3:00 — Golf: Wachovia Championship, Third Round. No Tiger, but a talented leaderboard nonetheless. [CBS] • 3:00 — Horses: Kentucky Derby. Post time is 6:00 pm. [NBC] • 3:00 — Horses: Live at the Derby. Every time I turn it on the dog starts barking. It's either the horses or Kenny Mayne's e...