w Page 4887 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More Native American Mascot Babble
As graduates of the University of Illinois at its endless debates about the merits/racism of its Chief Illiniwek, we will confess complete exhuastion when it comes to Native American mascots/symbols. We don't really care what they do, we just want them to do it and stop talking about it. Sorry. I...

Kicker Punches Out Bouncer, Nailed With <em>Felony</em>
It's not every day an NFL kicker is charged with a felony that doesn't involve the date-rape drug, but hey, these are heady times. Chiefs booter Lawrence Tynes was arrested yesterday for breaking the nose of a bouncer in a bar fight. That's impressive, not just because we didn't know kickers knew...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge Your Remote From The Dog ... · 2005 World Series of Poker: Watch that river flop! OK, we have no idea what that means. · Little League Softball: Pssst: The kid with the beard is juicing. · Collegetowns: Life In College Football: Yeah, they're just looking for s...

Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...

Saints QB Plays By Prison Rules
Interestingly enough, this exact same picture — with different clothing and entirely different context — was taken of Ravens running back Jamal Lewis while he was in prison. But again: Something else entirely....

Tom Brady Masturbates Just Like The Rest Of Us
Life's tough for Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The number of women who jump in front of traffic for him his cumbersome, $50 bills don't burn nearly as well as $100 ones and, hey, those rings are heavy. And now he's sick of being known as a golden boy. In an interview in the upcoming GQ, Brady ...

A Quiet Crowd
That's not a picture of the newest publicity attempt by the Arizona Cardinals to make their games look better on television. It's actually a photo from the set of the new Mark Wahlberg movie Invincible, about a bartender named Vince Papale who wins a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles. (He caught on...

In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....

The Curse Of Mets' No-Hitters
See that guy? That guy is Kit Pellow, a nondescript, mostly mediocre outfielder in the Seattle Mariners organization. Pellow is one of those thousands of baseball players whose name fans hear once and never hear of again....

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...

The Week In Deadspin: Find The Roider!
The Week That Done Be ... · Stephen A. Smith is pretty much driving everyone mad · Michael Kay's erection embarasses everyone in Yankees booth. · Ryne Sandberg only person happy about Rafael Palmeiro's fall from grace. · Madden! · Old lady stalks Eric Byrnes. · You, too, can join The Mario Lopez Net...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...

Ozzie Guillen, Sexual Profiler
According to resident no-fun-guy Rick Morrissey at the Chicago Tribune, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen might be a little too loosey-goosey with how he jokes around with his friends....

Leftovers: Hey, Where's My Wallet?
· Tiger flat, Mickelson all that. [Bloomberg] · Oh, no you di'n't ... McNabb blasts T.O. [Philly.com] · I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today. Someone in this room ... is a thief!: UConn guard arrested. [SI.com] · U.S. finally passes Ethiopia in World Track medal count: Gatlin l...

Get Thee Away, A-Rod!
While totally not being the subject of tons of rumors right now — absolutely not, how could you say that? — Yankees bitch-slapper Alex Rodriguez was turned away from snotty NYC hotspot Club Macanudo because he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He should have been wearing a skirt. Actually, are we ...

Drew And Puppet T.O.
Been watching SportsCenter this morning, and have been greatly enjoying Eagles receiver Terrell Owens' interviews. He's combative, he's amusing, he's strangely lispy. But mostly ... he's being patted on the back by agent Drew Rosenhaus....

Thirteen Minutes Of Mets Terror
The collision between Mets outfielders Carlos Beltran and Mike Cameron left Beltran bruised, Cameron in the hospital and fans pretty much just terrified....

ESPN Hollywood Has Finger On Pulse
The following two stories were promoed by The Mario Lopez Network for ESPN Hollywood on SportsCenter this morning:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while endeavoring to make your whites whiter and your brights brighter ... · The good: Brett Favre ... you look mah-velous. · The bad: Royals lose record 13th straight, file for emotional bankruptcy. · And the ugly: Tiger's 5-over 75 at the PGA Championships....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as groundhogs destroy your home's foundation ... · ESPN football: Chargers at Packers. Drew Brees, a jug of wine and thou. · Those incredible homers over at TBS present San Francisco Giants at Atlanta Braves. · WNBA: Minnesota Lynx at Detroit Shock. When they were naming this team, we ...