w Page 4887 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Super Bowl Buzzsaw Matchup: Pittsburgh vs. Arizona
In two weeks, the Pittsburgh Steelers will face the Ari... Arizo... I almost can't even say it, it sounds so strange... Arizona Cardinals... for the world championship of American football....

Congratulations, Buzzsaw
Can't say that this isn't a massive disappointment for both Donovan McNabb and my skin, but the scrappy Arizona Cardinals did what the scrappy Arizona Cardinals do, I guess. So did the Eagles, unfortunately....

Jump For Joy! There's A Hockey Game On Today!
NBC is broadcasting a regular season NHL game today ... on TV even! Rangers at Penguins (probably sans Crosby), 12:30 p.m. ET. Let's watch that! [NBC]...

Yes, But How Does The Robot Do In The Shuttle Run?
I'm not a big fan of discussing physical fitness, mainly because I don't have any. So I'm naturally jealous of any robot that rubs that in by doing pushups all up in my face an' shit. Especially when the robot's face is a big as this guy's. But then in the middle of his demo, his arm falls off. And ...

Rams Hire Steve Spagnuolo, Formerly D-Coor With NY Giants
Two things you should have known about now-former Giants defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo. First, to my knowledge, the man has never had sex with a donut....

Tiger Woods Will Speak About Something Besides His Line Of Titanium Drivers
Tiger Woods accepted an invitation to speak this weekend at "We Are One," the inauguration celebration being held this weekend at the Lincoln Memorial. The move is a surprise for the self-proclaimed "Cablanasian," who typically isn't programmed by Nike to participate involved in politics. No one's s...

Which Of These Birds Will Be Left Standing?
The week is finally over. Now, it's time to get down to business....

Vince Carter Starring In 'Rear Window'
The Nets' Vince Carter says he watched the crash landing of US Airways flight 1549 from his bedroom window in Weehawken. "It landed like it was a movie." [CBSSports]...

'These Breasts Property Of Mister Tebow,' And Other Ill-Advised Sporting Wagers
Time for another editon of Waxing Off; today's topic: Unfortunate "Mayors' Bets." Warning: May include description of Deadspin Managing Editor sucking a toe....

If Your New Commemorative Mets' Patch Doesn't Arrive In 30 Minutes, It's Free
Stephen Colbert reviews the new commemorative Mets' patch. "It's perfect. Notice the way the patch mirrors its fans, by not wanting to actually say it's for the Mets." [The 700 Level]...

Lawyer For Joba Chamberlain Impersonator Pleads For Mercy
"What's the crime in pretending to be someone?" Bardis asked. "I'm Mel Gibson; want to have a drink? He just goofed around because he kind of looks like the guy." [Deuce Of Davenport]...

Cowboys Cheerleader Vs. Titans Cheerleader: It Is So On
Nothing perks up our Friday like a good cheerleader catfight. Today, it's former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader/PETA supporter Bonnie Jill Laflin vs. Tennessee Titans cheerleader/rodent decapitator Melissa Hodges....

More Fantasy Fuel For You Cleveland Browns Supporters
Expanded version of that LeBron James State Farm ad surfaces on the Innertubes. Includes the phrase: World Champion Cleveland Browns. [Sparty And Friends]...

The Lingerie Bowl Is Back On!
Although it's now scheduled for the Saturday before the Super Bowl, Lingerie Bowl VI has risen from the ashes. And it was saved by a nudist resort. I love America. [Monkeys Throwing Darts]...

The Deadspin Civil War Mayor's Bet: Philadelphia Eagles
Donovan McNabb is two wins away from redemption. The only thing that can stop him is a tiny red bird....

The Thrill Is Gone: Mississippi Coach's Wife Sues For Lack Of Sex
What do you do when your husband is no longer interested in committing lane violations in bed? Sue the bastards who ruined your sex life! Kimber Kennedy is not fooling around, one might say....

Another Hapless Radio Pundit Has His Don Imus Moment
Bill Cunningham is a conservative talk radio host who really knows how to get his name in lights. Unfortunately, like Don Imus a few years back, he may have gone too far....

Jim Schwartz To Become Detroit's Greatest Hero
It seems fitting that the Tennessee Titans' defensive coordinator is the man who has been chosen to resurrect the pitiful Detroit Lions....

Pantsless Ski Man Finally Finds Someone Who Won't Laugh At Him
A Colorado law firm attempts to keep the photos of the pantsless ski man from circulating any further across the internet. Good luck with that. [The Smoking Gun]...

Officially Closing The Book On Another Holiday Season
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....