w Page 4976 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....

Hey Dude In The Back...What Number Is Kansas Ranked?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The Charlie Weis Death Watch Flies Under The Radar
Notre Dame is so desperate to pretend they haven't decided to fire Weis, they've blocked their private plane (also known as the SchmoozeJet) from being tracked on the Internet. Though odds are 2:1 it's been to Palo Alto....

Ex-Patriots Rough Up Some Children For Charity
Cameramen aren't the only people who need to be wary around the Patriots. A lesson learned too late for some students who thought they were going to meet their heroes in the name of a good cause. Instead: carnage....

Dodgeball Lawsuit Makes Me Fear For The Manliness Of Our Youth
A kid got nailed in the face during a dodgeball game at his school, and now he might sue the city. Maybe he needs to sue evolution for not giving him the reflexes to survive in middle school gym class....

Miami Coach Not Impressed By Lexington Reporter's Question
A reporter asked Miami of Ohio coach Charlie Coles (a 17.5-point underdog last night) how he let the Kentucky game "get away from him." He was not amused....

Is This The End Of Mark (And Baby) Mangino?
Kansas has launched an internal investigation of football coach Mark Mangino, which combined with five straight losses and an upcoming shellacking against Texas, could spell doom for the rotund coach. But what will become of his infant doppleganger?...

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

Jenn Sterger's Post-Op Recovery Documented Via Twitter
Will Carroll, America's most prominent Injury Expert, became her Nightingale last weekend after her surgery. Not a euphemism. [InjuryExpert]...

Manny Pacquiao Will Soon Add "Oscar Winner" To Long List Of Titles
Producers recently released the full trailer for Pacquiao's latest movie—his 10th according to IMDb—and it is a doozy. The film is called Wapakman, and appears to be a semi-autobiographical tale of Manny's life as the world's greatest (only?) Pinoy superhero. It's got monsters, bikini babes, adorabl...

ESPN Horndoggery Classic: Bill Creasy
The NY Post revealed some more of Bristol's unseemly history last Friday with a brief item about a 2004 harassment suit filed against ESPN's first president of programming, 74-year-old Bill Creasy. Here is the complaint, brimming with old man creepiness....

Mina Brees' Death Ruled A Suicide
Drew Brees' mother died three months ago at the home of a friend in northern Colorado. A coroner now says she killed herself by ingesting "a large quantity of prescription medications." [Austin American-Statesman]...

Tila Tequila Not Finished With Shawne Merriman Yet
The D.A. wouldn't prosecute Merriman for assaulting the TV "personality," but she can still sue him for assault, battery, false imprisonment and emotional distress. Oh, you better believe you haven't heard the last of this. [TMZ]...

Browns Fans Know Understatement
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Searching For...Melissa Lima On Behalf Of Alcides Escobar's Estranged Wife
A movement is afoot. Hotshot Brewers prospect Alcides Escobar's ex-wife emailed us for Melissa Lima's contact info to involve her in an online petition about deadbeat major league ballplayers. Welcome to Jezespin....

Just To Mess With Their Fans' Heads, Bengals Bring In Larry Johnson
Feeling pretty good about that 7-2 record, Bengal backers? In the AFC North driver's seat with a very favorable schedule ahead? Well, Mike Brown can definitely change that. What your team needs is a fourth-string RB with an attitude problem!...

Two Of Three Tennessee Robbers Kicked Off Team
Nu'Keese Richardson and Mike Edwards have been "permanently dismissed" from Tennessee's football team after being arrested for armed robbery last week. (No decision on teammate Janzen Jackson.) So that's the quickest way to squander a football scholarship. [GoVolsXtra]...

Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday....

Why Pirates Fans Are The Luckiest Fans In The World
A new study of sports fan psychology concludes that fans who have the most negative emotions toward their team's prospects, get the most enjoyment out of games. So treasure your angst ... because it's more fun that way....

Decade Retrospective: Who Had An Awful Decade?
As the resident historian around these parts, I'll be doing the decade retrospectives for the next month or so. We'll go year-by-year soon, but for now, we're looking at people and concepts who had a bad decade....