w Page 4978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mario, Luigi Wanted For Assault, Battery
Super Mario Kart is the greatest sports game of all time; if you disagree, you are a Communist. That's why I bring you warning that the game is much uglier when translated into real life....

John Wetteland Hospitalized For His Mental Health
When police responded to calls of a possible suicidal person, the Mariners bullpen coach and former closer came out with his hands in the air, telling them he "needed help." More to follow as we get it. [KTVT]...

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

Brave Peacemaker Of Casino Cafeteria Chair-Throwing Lady Brawl Rewarded With NBA Assistant Job
Yes, Tim Floyd, has been hired to be part of the Charlotte Hornets staff after the firing of head coach Byron Scott. GM Jeff Bower is now head coach. [Yahoo!]...

IceGators Coach Defends His Stick Throwing Temper Tantrum
Brent Sapergia says throwing all his team's equipment on the ice wasn't a stunt. He was just really, really mad! (Says the refs weren't looking out for his players.) Tough, but fair. [Puck Daddy]...

No One Likes Donald Sterling, Part 783 (UPDATE)
The league has no plans to discipline, comment on or even cough pointedly in the direction of Sterling, so activists are passing around a protest petition that David Stern can blithely ignore, too. Faaantastic!...

Jim Nantz Just Can't Find A Woman Who Won't Cost Him Boatloads Of Money
"I have champagne taste on a beer budget . . . I love what I do, but the bottom line is that I'm not making enough to pay for myself." [Page Six photo: Big Lead]...

Live Chat With Chris Ballard
Chris is in the comments below. Suggested topics for discussion: what Steve Kerr wrote on his shoes; LeBron's actual weight; Reggie Miller's portable massage tool; where to get a run in South Dakota; mushroom prospecting; that other basketball book....

Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...

The Stephen A. Smith Happy Hour Begins At Noon Today
Sock? Still retired. Enthusiastic Guild letter after the jump....

No, Vancouver Is The Other Way!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

A Little Holier-Than-Thou From Someone Who Handles Pigskin Every Week, Don't You Think?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Makers Of Madden Face Lawsuit For Eliminating The Competition
We get it; you love Madden. You buy it every year. But wouldn't it be awesome if there were another football game available? Join this class action suit against EA, and you might get one. Or at least some cash....

Finally, A Championship That Could Actually Save Detroit
Joe Cada, a 21-year-old from Shelby Township, Michigan, won the World Series of Poker's $8.55 million Main Event prize. That's like half the state's GDP. (By the way, 21 is also Michigan's legal gambling age, so....beginner's luck, right?) [Detroit4Lyfe, Freep]...

Media Continues Psycho-Social Deconstruction Of Elizabeth Lambert, Chick Fights
""Video of the incident has spurred a national debate about sportsmanship, gender roles, double standards regarding aggressiveness and news media coverage and the sexualized portrayal of female athletes." Don't forget Freudian photos of women giving birth to soccer balls. [NYTimes]...

You'd Lose Your Mind Too, If You Had To Coach Hockey In Louisiana
Brent Sapergia only lasted two games as coach of the Louisiana IceGators, but he made them count—getting thrown out of both and making himself internet famous with an epic, bench-clearing temper tantrum....

Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
The formerly dark-skinned Sosa spoke out about his ghostly new look and he would like to let everyone know that he's not dying or anything: "It's a bleaching cream," he said. You don't say....

The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...

And This Is What Happens When The Truth Is Untrue
Many of you read last night's amended Pat Murphy story where one rogue emailer decided to punch-up his Ali autograph-seeking story with some silly false details about ASU's coach. This happens sometimes....

An Apt Metaphor For The Raiders Season?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....