w Page 4997 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...
Truth In Labeling?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Geiger! Let's Go! (Again)
Remember Colby Rasmus Girl? Of course you do. It's always playing in your head when you've had a long day and all I really want is to sleep but it's stuck in my brain...Well now there's a remix. [imeem]...
Your Late Games Open Thread
In future NFL bust news, Tim Tebow has been released from the hospital and is heading home. In current NFL bust news, most of you get to watch either JaMarcus Russell or Cedric Benson. [Florida Times-Union]...
Is Our Children Learning (To Hate The Red Sox)?
All this talk about Obama's school speech and the indoctrination of students is ignoring the real dark power behind our educational system: Boston fans. Could one be in your child's school?...
"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....
Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....
It's Like The "Where's Waldo" Of Obscene Signs
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Respiratory Illness Will Not Slow Tim Tebow
In case Florida fails to crush another mediocre SEC opponent tonight, Urban Meyer can safely recycle his flu excuse. Sickness has ravaged the Gators, including Tim Tebow, who flew to Lexington on a separate plane last night. [Dr. Saturday]...
Browns' No-Nonsense Rookie Apparently Not Familiar With Concept Of "Prank"
Rookie Coye Francies turned punchy yesterday after fellow teammates playfully dowsed him with a bucket of ice. Abram Elam deflected Francies' blows before Shaun Rogers managed to pull the rookie out of the locker room by his shirt.[ESPN]...
Rookie's First Big League Memory Held For Ransom
You've heard stories about ballhawks, those unwieldy characters who scoop up milestone home run balls only to hold them for ransom from the players who hit them. This is one of those tales....
China Still Very Much A Developing Nation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Big Ten Network Undeterred By Gimpy Sideline Pony
Charissa Thompson, sideline reporter for the Big Ten Network, broke her ankle doing step aerobics and will wear a cast. She's not DL'd yet, so keep her in your lineup. This is officially the slowest news day in history....
Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Turner Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Atlanta Braves' Turner Field. Photo by Charlie Morn....
Pats' ESPN Ad Deal A Conflict Of Interest, Reports Newspaper Whose Parent Company Owns Share Of Red Sox
"The Kraft Sports Group, which owns the New England Patriots, is selling local advertising for the new ESPNBoston.com, a partnership that some media analysts say could create a conflict of interest." [Boston Globe]...