w Page 5009 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Greetings, Redux
So, for those of you who weren't up at 3:15 a.m. this morning and didn't see my initial greeting being posted(timestamp said 9:15 a.m, for fuck's sake), well here we are again. Anyway, wake up sleepy heads. It's a glorious day to sit at home and watch me mess up this place with reckless abandon....
Greetings, Spinheads
It is Saturday. It is February. It is not beach volleyball weather....
And...Let's Just Get This Out Of The Way Early
Two more Chris Berman videos have been unearthed from their dusty graves....
The Night Eli Manning Became A Man
• Hey, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Really. • Poor Kevin Hart. • The last Jambaroo until next season. • How to sneak into the Giants victory parade. • Fire Joe Morgan is one-third Mose Schrute. • Patriots fans try to come to terms. • BOO, Gordon! • Take that, Tiki. • Shaq to the Suns? Amazing. • P...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after doing a little gardening ... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Darnell "Not A Bad Guy If You Get To Know Him" Wilson vs. B.J. "Honnicut" Flores, at Dover, Del., (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, practice for Budweiser Shootout, at Daytona Beach, Fla., (4 p.m. and 6:...
"Fun" In The "Sun" At The NFL Pro Bowl
The sports world has no greater spectacle than the Pro Bowl. Therefore, we dispatched Zach Everson to write about the Pro Bowl for us. He's out in Hawaii. Jerk. Here's his first dispatch; he'll file again for Monday....
Suddenly My High School Years Look Sad And Lackluster
OK, the intern staff here at Deadspin labored for hours trying to find a sports connection to this story, and came up empty (all have been fired). Nonetheless, here is is, because it contains perhaps the greatest sentence ever seen in a news item in the English language. There is more hilarity eac...
So What Was Up With Those Awful Super Bowl Commercials?
Gupta has recently apologized for the ads and pulled the panda one from the airwaves, but this whole thing is probably going exactly to plan....
About Last Night
What you missed while taking your turn pummeling Benjamin Linus ... • NBA: Chris Webber is some good luck charm, huh? Bulls 114, Warriors 108. • College basketball: So this must have been a really fun game to attend. Indiana 83, Illinois 79, 2OT. • MLB: One Boooooonndds, Bonds for saaaale, he's goin...
How To Sneak Into The Giants Victory Parade Without Really Trying
It's amazing what a fan with a little bit of gumption and a lot of spirit can get away with. Meet the world's biggest, and luckiest, Giants fan....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you order your discount concert tickets ... • College basketball: West Virginia at Pittsburgh ( 7 p.m., ET); Indiana at Illinois (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Clemson at Virginia (7 p.m., ET); Xavier at Saint Louis (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. If Rick Majerus keeps his clothes on, we'll all be just...
We'll Miss Inside The NFL, And We Don't Think We're The Only Ones
Above is the greatest moment in "Inside The NFL" history, back when Dan Marino was still in "I'm a player and I'm pissed I never won the Super Bowl" mode. We miss that mode a little....
In Reebok's Alternate Universe, The Patriots Are 19-0
You had to figure that Reebok filmed two versions of its Perfectville Super Bowl commercial, and indeed, here it is; as reported by Larry Brown Sports. The highlight for me is the deliveryman with the "Patriots 19-0" T-shirt … possibly the only one of those still remaining in the Northern Hemisphere...
The Final Jamboroo And The Art Of Being A Sports Fan Without Watching Sports
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon. Well, until today, anyway....
This Should Cause The Mets No PR Problems Whatsoever
Pitchers and catchers haven't even begun packing, but the first sensational storyline of spring training is already here. Pedro Martinez: Cock Fighter! (As first reported by Home Run Derby.) PETA officials are sharpening their talons and animal activists are massing at the Florida border as we speak...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you show up to vote and wonder why your polling place is closed ... • College basketball: Connecticut at Syracuse (7 p.m., ET); Duke at North Carolina (9 p.m., ET). Hope they can fill the place up for that second one. [ESPN] • College basketball: Texas at Oklahoma (7 p.m., ET). D...