w Page 5017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Johnny Narron: His Tongue Deviseth Mischiefs
On Friday, I spoke with Johnny Narron, the Rangers' special assignment coach and Josh Hamilton's devoutly religious "accountability partner." He was gracious, forthright and apparently full of crap....
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Little League Baseball Players?
From 1995 to 1998, Dr. James Andrews performed nine Tommy John surgeries on teenage patients. From 2003 to 2008? 224. Young, amateur pitchers are breaking down faster than a Dusty Baker rotation and no one knows what to do....
Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: "The Football Fan's Manifesto"
Today's a glorious day. Michael Tunison aka Kwanzaa Primate's utterly fantastic book has arrived and he's graciously given us an excerpt. Plus! He's here to live chat with you. Buy it then pepper him with inane questions....
Josh Hamilton's Re-Redemption Begins After The Vituperative E-mails End (Update)
Josh Hamilton's photo-documented backslide onto a bar-top covered in whip cream while being groped by strange women was potentially disastrous, but he responded with a shockingly disarming press conference. But Hamilton's fans (Hambone Heads) went predictably berserk on us anyway....
Greg Paulus Is The Biggest Legend In Virginia Tech History
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Linda Cohn Bravely Tests The ESPN Social Networking Policy
60,000 Cohn Heads. Now there ain't but 20,000 Bristol police in the whole town... can you dig it? [The Rookies]...
If Mike Vick Is Repentant, He'll Never Tell
Michael Vick made an appearance at a Humane Society event yesterday, but don't expect to hear an inspiring message of redemption. Don't expect to hear it at all. Vick's talk wasn't for the community: it was for his own gain....
Sweat Your Balls Off For Fun And Profit
It's the World Sauna Championship, where 3 minutes 46 seconds was enough to take the gold. Also, enough pictures of Moobs to last you a year. [Daily Mail]...
It's Always Surly In Philadelphia
To the shock of precisely no one, the real action in last night's UFC 101 was in the crowd, as every Philadelphian tried to fight every other Philadelphian. Winner: you!...
Not A Game, We Talking 'Bout Malpractice
Tebucky Jones plans to sue New England's team doctors for misdiagnosing his injuries and ending his career. The Mets' class-action suit is still collecting plaintiffs. [NESN]...
Isn't Anyone Here Even Hard Of Hearing?
When Ghana sent a deaf soccer team to Australia, they neglected to actually send any deaf people. But it's not cheating, because the Aussies' deaf soccer team included only three hearing-impaired players!...
Why Sports Wives Don't Remain Sports Wives For Too Long
In the non-news category, professional athletes divorce far more often than the national average. The real question is why do they bother getting married in the first place?...
Hockey Arrests! Aww, Just Like A Real Sport
Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was arrested this morning for punching a cabbie who didn't have the 20 cents in change he wanted. So that's assault, robbery, and I'm going to assume underage drinking charges for the 20-year-old. [Buffalo News]...
Like Transformers, GaTech Only Looks Good Beside Inferior Contemporaries
In an attempt to outdo Tennessee's auto-erotic Lamborghini, Georgia Tech's football team posed with not one, but two muscle cars. Also, they can turn into giant robots that fight evil....
Reggie Miller Goes After Another Man's Girl, Gets A Restraining Order For His Trouble (UPDATE)
A banner warning Reggie Miller off of married women was flown over southern California beaches. Seems Miller's been accused of trying to dip his Dunkaroos in someone else's frosting cup, and we've got the restraining order to prove it....
At Least This Man Is Used To Hard Luck
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
And David Ortiz Has A Few Things To Get Off Of His Chest
Big Papi handled himself as confidently and apologetically as he possibly could while he addressed the whole "why's your name popping up on that mysterious list of bad, bad men"-issue. No steroids, he says. Just supplements....
The Tao Of Mutton Bustin'
12-year-old Trysta espouses her wisdom: "I just tried to hold on to the sheep like it was a pillow."(Photo by Chris Dunker)[The Beatrice Daily Sun]...