w Page 5019 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
At Least One Super Bowl Ad Won't Be Funny
I've just been wired an announcement from the Department of Stuff We Already Friggin' Learned In Third Grade: drugs are bad for you and they're illegal. Did you know they're illegal? They're also bad for you. Apparently the DSWAFLTG is not on the same page with the WHONDCP (White House Office of Nat...
If you're a fan of beatdown basketball, top-ranked North Carolina has a slight lead over NC State at halftime, 43-13. If this gets any worse, the Heels might put skip their bench players and just sub in the Saint Louis Billikens. [Yahoo! Sports] Update: NC State had kind of a better second half with...
Biding Time Until Tonight's NFL Playoffs
Considering the NFL playoffs don't begin until 4:30 and you can't sleep in until 4 on Saturdays anymore (ah, freshman year), the afternoon consists of very little beyond college basketball. So my retro video game recommendation today is Kid Chamelon for the Sega Genesis. Back then it was very meta t...
Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...
Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...
Fired Up, Ready To Go
• Goodbye, Oddsmaker. • Jose Lima is indestructible. • LSU won. • Eli Manning, fired up, ready to go. • GOOSE. • Darren McFadden, scufflin'. • Joe Gibbs, hangin' 'em up. • Warren Sapp claims he hates gay porn. • Len Pasquarelli is a friendly sort. • Everyone is always wrong. • We finally got around ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while playing with your Mr. Potato Head ... • NBA: Miami at New Orleans (8 p.m., ET); Milwaukee at Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN]. Visit the famed French Quarter before the game. And there's one in New Orleans too, I hear. • Boxing: Super middleweights, Edison Miranda "Righ...
NFL Divisional Pants Party: Cowboys Vs. Giants
You know what would really blow people's minds? If Jessica Simpson would have dated Eli Manning instead. Man, those guys would have some scintillating conversations....
Smith Street (NSFW)
This is AJ Daulerio's final Cultural Oddsmaker for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
Strahan Would Totally Tap That
At first glance it's moral support from an unlikely source: Giants defensive end Michael Strahan says that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson should be given their space. Leave Romo alone! He's a human being! Etc., etc. But you and I know what the real deal is here. Hey Tony, if you ever get tired of her...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
It's Hard Out There For A Billiken
To put Saint Louis University's loss to George Washington on Thursday into perspective, portly coach Rick Majerus himself could have played point guard for the Billikens, and it wouldn't have hurt. Final: GW 49, Saint Louis 20. That's the lowest total for an NCAA men's team since the shot clock was ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after more interactive fun with tigers ... • College basketball: West Virginia at Louisville (7 p.m., ET); Illinois at Wisconsin (9 p.m., ET); [ESPN]; Arkansas at Auburn (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]. This young, scrappy Illini five just could win it all if they figure a way to tickle the nets ...
NFL Divisional Pants Party: Patriots Vs. Jaguars
It's always nice to see the NFL adopting baseball's strategy of scheduling the most exciting postseason games really late at night. Though we might just be getting old....
It Is Time, Once Again, To Wank For A Cause
It's the news you dared not hope was true: Nearly 10 years after it was introduced in San Francisco, the Masturbate-A-Thon is making its triumphant return. To The Netherlands! What took you so long, Dutch people? (Carl Monday dons raincoat, sounds the Action 4 News Team alert). Oh, like you had anyt...
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
Warren Sapp's Worst Thing In The World
Remember when Warren Sapp was relevant? OK, we don't remember that either. Anyway, the guy has finally retired, flipping out in his next to last game, just for good measure. What was the tipping point of his rage? Why, gay porn, of course!...