w Page 5264 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Was There - A Game That Mattered
Anyone who reads Ladies... knows that I am a long suffering Pirates fan, to the point I barely care about baseball anymore. Always the same old saw: we stink, we're always rebuilding, we're always trading away good young players to save on the cap, we decide to spend on Matt Morris. Yesterday, howev...

What To Watch
• 12:00 pm — This Week in Baseball [FOX] • 1:00 pm — NBA Access with Ahmad Rashad [ABC] • 1:00 pm — Wyndham Championship (Golf) [CBS] • 2:00 pm — AST Dew Tour: Vans Invitational [NBC] • 3:00 pm — Little League World Series: Mid-Atlantic vs. West [ABC] • 3:00 pm — Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull-Riding Ch...

Ladies... Weekend
Good morning, gentleman. We trust that you are all well rested. This is a crazy weekend for us, as not only are we covering Deadspin, but about half of us are on the road visiting fine ballparks across this great land of ours. (Which may or may not be overstating the fact, since Metschick did choose...

Watch Your Hands, Lady
• One excitable cancer kid. • Barry Bonds and Alan Thicke, ice skatin'. • Seattle will say goodbye to the Sonics. • Super! • Will Demps is tired of your breasts. • Hirshey wraps up the first weekend of the EPL. Oh, and Beckham scored. • Hey, the MNF crew sounds pretty good so far. • Stoner GMs, man....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you are stalked by your Slinky ... • NFL: Preseason, Minnesota at New York Jets. New York is gripped with Jet Fever (don't worry, it'll pass).[Fox] • Little League Baseball: World Series, pool play round, at Williamsport, Pa. Hormones are nature's steroids. [ESPN] • Tennis: ATP, Wes...

Another Young, Ready To Rampage
Thank you, Dan Steinberg, for introducing us to "Damage." This is Damon Young, son of "Meat Hook" Nationals first baseman Dmitri Young, and he insist that you call him "Damage." And that, friends, is a mohawk. Clearly, this is not a boy with whom to trifle; boom bitch....

Who's The Next Old, White Lady To Get Humped by a Black NBA Player?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think....

NFL Season Preview: Atlanta Falcons
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

There Are Safeties Weaker Than Ryan Seacrest
You know, we didn't mean to come across as openly derisive toward Ryan Seacrest yesterday when we pointed out that he will be a co-host of the Super Bowl this year. In fact, we clearly underestimated the guy....

Our Only Regret Is That Gary Sheffield Does Not Have A Blog
This just in: Joe Torre is still a racist. He also hates puppies, and Flight of the Conchords. Let's get him! Such would be the cry if Gary Sheffield ran baseball....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as mankind prepares for the Potato Wars ... • Baseball: San Francisco at Atlanta. If we could get a Bobby Cox ejection during a Bonds home run, that would save endless time. [TBS] • NFL: Preseason, Miami at Kansas City. Yes, I have Brodie Croyle Fever. Why do you ask? [ESPN] • Tennis: ...

If Only The Large Breasted Hot Women Would Leave Athletes Alone!
The handsome rapscallion you see right there is Will Demps, a slightly mediocre free safety for the New York Giants who's pretty much destined to be on a reality show in six years. He's a smoldering fellow, and you know what that means: He just can't keep the groupies off him....

NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

The Super Bowl Gets More SUPER
You might think that Richard Simmons hanging out with Howie Long and company is just an anomaly, a tiny bit of happenstance. But then again, you don't know who's hosting the pregame and halftime festivities for Fox at Super Bowl XLII....

Bledsoe Never Really Wanted To Play
It is only in retirement that Drew Bledsoe confirmed what we always pretty much knew: He never really wanted to be much of a football player....

There's Madness Behind The Mask
To help celebrate Bobby Cox's record 132nd career ejection (he was tossed again on Wednesday), Sons of Sam Malone compiled the Top 5 Manager Ejections of recent years. It is a fine list, a noble list, and makes me want to crawl on all fours and pretend to lob a grenade. 'But hey,' you may be saying ...

Jason Grilli Is Pretty Sure He Has Fans
Any athlete with his own Web site has several options. He can be entirely weird and wonderful. He can speak blandly about this team and life As A Baseball Player. He can sporadically update and ask for charitable donations. Or he can just try to sell shit. Or, if you're Tigers pitcher Jason Grilli, ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you send your robot squirrel out to take care of the rattlesnake ... • MLB: Detroit at Cleveland [ESPN]; Cincinnati at Chicago Cubs. "He can't hit he can't hit he can't hit, Su-wing batter!" [WGN] • Tennis: ATP, Western & Southern Financial Group Masters, early round, at Cincinnati....

You Can't Tell, But Howie Long Is Erect
If we know our average Deadspin reader, you were obviously watching "Fox & Friends" on the Fox News Channel this morning. But just in case ... Richard Simmons was hanging out with the FOX NFL Sunday crew. Finally, someone who makes Jimmy Johnson look well dressed, and Terry Bradshaw look less gay. ...

Locate Your Local Viking
From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go....