Watch Your Hands, Lady

• One excitable cancer kid. • Barry Bonds and Alan Thicke, ice skatin'. • Seattle will say goodbye to the Sonics. • Super! • Will Demps is tired of your breasts. • Hirshey wraps up the first weekend of the EPL. Oh, and Beckham scored. • Hey, the MNF crew sounds pretty good so far. • Stoner GMs, man. • EPL orgies. • Rob King, finger on the pulse. • Goodnight, Mamula. • Shane Battier is dope. • We saw Rick Ankiel! • At least someone can ref the prison games. • Jose Offerman, totally sane. • Don't forget to make your Deadspin Hall of Fame nominations.

We're coming to you live from Atlanta right now, where the Atlanta Pants Party takes off tonight. It's all you can eat; what could possibly go wrong. Anyway, our regular trio of performers are gone this weekend, so you're in for a treat: We've handed the reigns of Deadspin for the weekend to ... the Ladies at . It's a full weekend of their special brand of whimsy. So strap in, as they say. We'll be back Monday to survey the carnage.