whimsy Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Dempsey To Make A Baseball Movie We <i>Really</i> Want To See
Columbia Pictures put Moneyball in turnaround, but former Orioles goofball Rick Dempsey has just sold them a script that sounds infinitely more entertaining than sweaty stat geeks. It's the true story of Dempsey's little league coach....who also robbed banks....

The UFL Might Actually Be A Practical Joke
The United Football League unveiled its team names and uniforms this week, just hours before tickets went on sale for games you did not realize were taking place, featuring players that may not exist. Is this really happening?...

T-Pain (and Auto-Tune) Makes Dolphins Fight Song Slightly Less Terrible
Miami has long relied on terrible music to rally their football team, but this is the 21st Century, so they hired T-Pain to hip-hopify their fight song by 20% or so. The kids love this stuff....

Sweat Your Balls Off For Fun And Profit
It's the World Sauna Championship, where 3 minutes 46 seconds was enough to take the gold. Also, enough pictures of Moobs to last you a year. [Daily Mail]...

Barry Zito Prepares To Illuminate The World With His Atrocious Singing
Sweet mother of Christmas, this is bad. Giants super-chill pitcher Barry Zito is recording an album and, unfortunately for him (and anyone who listens), one of his songs was leaked to The Dirty. "What A Man's Gotta Do." Ugh. [TheDirty]...

Prop 8 Never Saw This Coming: Woman Marries A Carnival Ride
This woman loves this amusement park ride. No, she really loves it. Enough to let "him" put a ring on it. Let's go down the rabbit hole with this most tenuous of sports angles....

Deadspin I-Team: The Drill That Dare Not Speak Its Name
The Dallas Morning News has one of those quirky-training-regimen stories today that bloom annually during NFL training camp and which usually involve yoga or interpretive dance or whatever. This one, however, is about an unprintably named tire-flipping drill. I-Team, assemble!...

Tasers And Foul Balls Make For An Eventful Night In Oakland
At most ballgames, you're lucky if one interesting thing happens in your section. A foul ball, a violent arrest, dudes falling down stairs? Well, some lucky A's fans saw it all in the span of about 30 seconds....

And Why Does A San Francisco Gallery Have A Nude Photo Of Joe DiMaggio On Display?
Great question. Taken around 1940, The Daily Beast informs us that the rare (NSFW) photo "reveals the naked Yankee slugger soaking wet and grinning happily." I think Joe D needs a new nickname. Please help. [TheDailyBeast]...

Rudy Gay Loves His Hamburgers
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Starbury's Figurative Train Wreck Becomes A Literal Car Crash
We knew they shouldn't have let him outside. At the 1:45 mark, Stephon's car appears to jump the curb, or maybe run over an old lady. But "don't worry about it. It ain't nothin' but the Devil." [H/T reader Brian]...

R.I.P. UCLA Undie Run: 2002-2009
Citing safety concerns, UCLA administrators nixed the tri-annual tradition of students stripping down and frolicking across campus during finals week due to increased boozy half-naked fights breaking out. (PHOTO: NowPublic) [LA Times]...

Moneyballhawking: Happy Youngster And Friends Go All Sabermetricky
This web site right here is where the dorkwads of ballhawking and the geekwads of baseball stats meet and do a Vulcan salute. There's enough nerdiness here to power 10 Strat-O-Matic leagues and a new season of Battlestar Galactica....

I Hope Someone Gently Broke The News To Josh Johnson
From this week's SI Pop Culture Grid: Person I'm Dying To Interview..."Kirby Puckett. One of my idols growing up." [SI]...

Shy, Retiring Sort Shockingly Takes To Ustream
Chad Ocho Cinco's doing the Marbury thing on Ustream, minus the God and most of the crazy. At last check, he was wearing a robe, calling Lil Wayne on speakerphone and saying things like, "I'm the new ESPN, man." [Ustream]...

Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...

Swimsuit Still Has Major Rear Air Conditioning Problems
This poor Italian woman first suffered this indignity. Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens' suit also busted open in the back, revealing his backside to America. The Huffington Post even utilized its seldom used "ass cam" for the occasion. [KC.com]...

Shaq Vs. The Secret Service
Shaquille O'Neal plans to meet the owner of the world's most famous White Sox jacket by walking up to his home's gated entrance, ringing the doorbell and asking if Barack Obama would like to sit on his lap. [Bog]...

Spend Your Day Tracking Stephon Marbury's Eclecticism
As Skeets (SKEETS!) noted: This is unreal. [UStream]...