whimsy Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now, This Is How You Heckle a Member of the Opposing Team
Who knew Swedes got so ornery? But this is the treatment you get if you're an opposing member of a Swedish hockey team and were involved in a salacious sex scandal. Gentlemen...unleash the dildos! ...
Marathon Runner Blows Away Field, Receives Bright And Shiny Piece Of Nothing
Foot races are the oldest form of athletic competition there is and even after 4,000 years or so the premise remains the same: Point A to Point B, who ever gets there first wins. Unless you're at the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco, a race that Arien O'Connell foolishly assumed she's won, sim...
Not Possible!: The Legend Of Steve Buckhantz
You may remember me saying earlier that I'm not a huge NBA fan, but maybe that's because I don't get to watch enough games narrated by Steve Buckhantz. The Washington Wizards play-by-play man is shall we say ... easily excitable. Like Gus Johnson-level excitable. And because this is the way things w...
Cats Being CAThletes: An Afternoon at the CFA Iams Cat Championship
This past weekend offered plenty of football, baseball, soccer, and ultimate fighting to satisfy even the most casual sports fan, but most of you probably missed one of the more competitive athletic events that took place in New York City on Saturday and Sunday —- the CFA Iams Cat Championship feat...
Brain Explosions: Tony LaRussa Reveals To Duff McKagan That He Really Wanted to Coach the Mariners
Former Guns N' Roses bassist Duff McKagan has been online diary-ing for the Seattle Weekly, talking about all things Duff-related and this week he tackles a topic near and dear to him: Seattle's struggling sports teams. The cleverly titled "What happened to our teams?" lets Duff engage his inner W.C...
The Greg Oden Picture Guy Strikes Again
You may remember Daniel Shapiro here; he's the Portland Trail Blazers fan who had his picture taken with a remarkably unimpressed Greg Oden on an airliner recently. Here he is again at some unnamed sporting event with Boston Globe scribbler Bob Ryan, where it seems as if the only way Ryan could be l...
Two "All-Time Greats": Brett Favre And Coin Collecting
This commercial came on today during the 17-hour morning SportsCenter and ... wow. Just wow. Where to even begin? Is it the stolen Monday Night Football theme? The low rent "highlight" package at the beginning? The awesome URL? The bonus coin? The eight more bonus coins with handsome carrying case? ...
How Do You Say No Homo In French?
Ah Paris, city of haute cuisine, thin mustaches and aggressive poodles. You are also home to Stade Francais, the traditional Rugby Union powerhouse which, when it comes to uniform fashion, has a certain je ne sais quoi, eh? Here is their latest shirt design, launched to coincide with the European Cu...
The Home Of Your New WNBA Champions: Ypsilanti!
If you're the kind of person who pays attention to such things, you may have noticed that the Detroit Shock will not be playing their WNBA Finals games in Detroit or Auburn Hills or any place else within the I-275 belt. Instead, their playoffs are being held in beautiful and spacious Ypsilanti, Mich...
Some People Still Don't Believe That "Fukudome" is Not A Dirty Word
Last week it was revealed that one Oklahoma woman was asked to remove her Kosuke Fukudome jersey during work hours because the F-U-K-U letters may be offensive to some. The Fuk-u problem is still rampant — even in Chicago, apparently — as a 15-year-old sophomore at Elgin High School named Jill Howe...
John McCain Seeks Debate "Help" From Fellow Rageaholic
If John McCain seemed a little feisty during his presidential debate with Barack Obama last week, there's a good reason for it. His campaign claims that he began taking an herbal supplement designed to "enhance memory and keep energy levels up" in preparation for the showdown. Makes sense—until you ...
Attention Tampa Bay Rays: Kevin Costner is Here To Tepidly Rock You into the World Series
Already troubled by their lack of "worthy" individuals associated with the organization to throw out their first playoff pitch, the Rays obviously faced another quandary when searching for a rallying fight song to commemorate the occasion. Unlike the Cubs, who got Eddie Vedder's "Go All The Way", th...
Dueling Squirt-Guns to the Death
The following is a tale of assassins, of deception, of high speed car chases, balloon grenades, and of guns — lethal guns filled with vicious H20. It's no surprise that the participants of StreetWars, a water pistol competition operated by a "Shadow Government," are described as mostly being in thei...
Kermit Washington To Punch Third-World Hunger In The Face
Drought, famine, and crippling poverty better stay on the bench for this fight because Kermit Washington is coming out swinging. The former NBA baller and American University alum has his own non-profit organization called Project Contact Africa, that wants to throw a roundhouse right to the skull o...
Exclamation Point-Prone Playmate Adamantly Denies Engagement To Eagles Reciever
Yesterday, Philadelphia gossip hounds were investigating a rumor that "Girl Next Door" Kendra Wilkinson was engaged to Philadelphia Eagles' receiver Hank Baskett. Although many theories about the couple's cozy relationship were circulated, Baskett denied any physical relationship and maintained that...
Miami Arena goes Ka-Boom
Earlier today, the old home to both the Miami Heat and Florida Panthers got demolished, and we've got video of the implosion following the jump: ...
Chipper Is Cold-Blooded, Giggly
Forgive my Judaism, but I've never been known to partake in the sport of trophy hunting, especially when the trophy is so deliciously nonkosher. However after seeing this video of Chipper Jones I have to say it looks like a good ole' time. What's not to like about a sport that combines the fun of ...
Buzz Bissinger Wants To Help You Find Somebody To Love
For those of us lucky enough to be Facebook friends with esteemed author and cantankerous blog-basher Buzz Bissinger, we were all treated with a special surprise in the last 10 minutes when it appeared Buzz had made the effort to write something on our walls. Not the case. It seems poor Buzz got Fac...
Athlete Impersonations Reach a New Low: New York Man Claims to be Kenny Anderson
Michael Anderson has an awful lot of confidence in the basketball knowledge of Long Beach, New York residents to claim that he's Kenny Anderson and expect it to get him somewhere. I can't wait until ten years from now when Floyd Mayweather, Jr. gets arrested for impersonating Floyd Mayweather, Jr. ...
Somewhere, Matt Leinart Is Smiling
Well, this is unfortunate. But it appears pseudonymous website proprietor "Nik Richie" of TheDirty.com was nabbed for a DUI last January and The Smoking Gun has the wince-worthy police report from the night of his arrest. Nik Richie is actually 29-year-old Hooman Karamian and, well, Jesus, let's go ...