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Did Osama Bin Laden Have Porn?
I used an electric nose hair trimmer for the first time the other day. It was oddly titillating. Now my nostrils are hollowed out like Nikki Tyler. It's almost too much oxygen for me to handle in one load....

Lacrosse Hail Mary Video Makes Me Interested In Lacrosse For A Hot Second
Gonzaga (HS in DC) clinched their conference title with a length-of-the-field hurl with 10 seconds left. I like this a lot more than those indoor lacrosse league that try to sell me on the fighting....

Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....

Hours After (Barely) Getting Punched, Manny Pacquaio Was Onstage Singing La Bamba
Do you ever get the feeling Manny doesn't actually like boxing? Between his political career, his singing career, and his not having broken a sweat in the ring in three years, it seems like there's always something he'd rather be doing....

Deadspin Classic: How Everyone Decided Delonte West Was Boinking LeBron's Mom
Around this time last year, everyone was seeking an explanation for LeBron James's poor playoff performance. They found it, in the form of a bizarre Gloria James/LeBron James/Delonte West love triangle. Happy Mother's Day, everyone....

If Pacquiao-Mosley Was A Snoozer, Arce-Vazquez Was A Goddamn Slobberknocker
For those of you who spent $55 to watch Shane Mosley preserve his brain cells last night against Manny Pacquiao, my condolences go out to you if the main event was all you saw. Because the Jorge Arce vs. Wilfredo Vazquez Jr. bout on the undercard was unreal. It oozed with subtext: Mexico vs. Puert...

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

Here's Your Manny Pacquiao/Shane Mosley Fight Night Open Thread
Manny Pacquiao will fight Shane Mosley in Las Vegas, with the WBO welterweight title on the line, tonight. But is it truly a fight when everybody already knows who is going to win, and when the person who everybody knows is going to lose doesn't betray even a hint of anger toward his foe?...

Manny Pacquiao Survives Fender Bender, Will Fight Tonight
TMZ is reporting that Manny Pacquiao was just involved in a car accident in Las Vegas, but that it shouldn't affect his fight against Shane Mosley tonight. By accident, they mean "one of Manny's security vehicles collided with the car carrying Manny."...

So, This Is What A College Station Glee Episode Would Look Like
Tipster Glenn T. just sent in this link to what's described as "nearly 150 students burst(ing) into seemingly spontaneous song and dance" during Texas A&M Foundation's annual Legacy Society Gala at the Gilliam Indoor Track Stadium....

Yep, There's Already A "Big Brewers Fan" Video Remix
It hasn't even been three days since "Keith's Brewers Rap" came up on the scene, crispy and clean, but that was ample time for BenLah Music to come correct with "The 2011 Brewers (remix of Keith's Brewers Rap)."...

Great Moments In Bad Handjobs
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Jon Lester And Clay Buchholz Are The Latest Red Sox To Launch Charity Wines With Incredibly Dumb Names
Taking money from drunk Red Sox fans and giving it to cancer patients is a cause anyone can get behind (except perhaps liver cancer patients). Meeting with less approbation and more smirking are the names Longball Cellars has been slapping on its athlete-endorsed charity wine bottles. Jon Lester and...

Figure Skating Is Much More Tolerable When Routines Are Super Mario-Themed
Here's Tatiana Volosozhar and partner Maxim Trankov doing their graceful skating thing at the 2011 World Championships in Moscow earlier in the week. No Beethoven. No Handel. No terrible 70s ballads. Just Mario....

Gary Is Gone.
Maryland's men's basketball coach, Gary Williams, will forever remember this day as the day Gus Johnson ruined his retirement party. Williams coached the Terps for 22 years and won a national title in 2002. Now he's the guy that retired the day Gus got the boot (and other things, though). [ESPN, Mar...

Terry Francona: We Didn't Sign Carl Crawford To Hit Eighth
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: no one on the Red Sox is hitting, but some are hitting less than others....

Spanking Young Deers: Bernard Hopkins Still The Undisputed Champion Of Trash Talk
HBO is on to a pretty great idea here. Take two fighters — one of them a curmudgeonly ex-con in a periwinkle sweater vest — have them sit backward in chairs like The Fonz, and let them go at it with only skinny suited Max Kellerman to intervene should the sparring proceed from verbal to fistic. Be...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...

Biz Markie; And Other Things That Happen In Eight-Hour Baseball Games
There's a special kind of masochism that comes with staying up to watch a marathon baseball game, like last night's Angels/Red Sox tilt that didn't wrap up until 2:45 am. You know you're going to feel like shit in the morning, and you can only pray your team wins so it wasn't all for naught....

This Office Prank Is A Good Argument Against Ever Working With A Bruins Fan
We're told that the prankster in this video, who hopefully still has a job, is Kelly Park, son of NHL Hall of Famer Brad Park. He promised the CFO of their company that he would "prank" him should the Bruins knock out the Habs in the first round. They did, somewhat dramatically, and Park chose to ...