Hue Jackson and Mike McCarthy were horrible enough to get canned during the regular season, but now that Week 17's wrapped up, it’s time for all the other disappointing NFL head coaches to join them in the Great Coordinator Gig in the Sky. Here’s a brief roundup of everyone who’s been canned today.
Adam Gase, Miami Dolphins
The Miami Miracle couldn’t save this dingus. Gase took the Dolphins to 10 wins and the playoffs in his first season in 2016, but that was the end of his success. The past few weeks likely sealed his fate. After beating the Patriots, the 7-6 Fins dropped their final three games and were outscored 100-41. They lost 42-17 to the Bills. The Bills! Sean McDermott’s name should be on here for the atrocities he committed with Nathan Peterman.
Meanwhile, Dolphins executive Mike Tannenbaum gets the indignity of re-assignment:
Vance Joseph, Denver Broncos
The Broncos had not experienced consecutive losing seasons since 1971–72 until Joseph came along. The Dolphins’ former defensive coordinator followed up a 5-11 debut with this season’s 6-10 record. While it’s unfair to put all the blame on Joseph, as team GM John Elway could not pick a competent quarterback if his life depended on it, the coach had his own share of fuckups, too. Performance aside, he also seems pretty gross.
Steve Wilks, Arizona Cardinals
It feels hasty to fire a non-interim head coach after one season, but Cardinals President Michael Bidwill has never seemed that bright, anyway. Wilks, who was previously the Panthers’ defensive coordinator, led Arizona to a 3-13 record. The team’s offense was ass, and its defense wasn’t much better. He was pre-fired before he was actually fired.
Marvin Lewis, Cincinnati Bengals
Could it be? Is he really gone?? Lewis’s three straight losing seasons might have been impossible to ignore, but do not overlook the fact that this dude had five consecutive winning seasons with the Bengals, took them to the playoffs in all five of those years, and then lost all five of those games. The man is 0-7 in the playoffs. That’s incredible. It feels harder to do that than to win one of them. He will probably be hired again because of his “experience,” and Hue Jackson has a good shot of picking up in Cincinnati where he left off.
Todd Bowles, New York Jets
This felt inevitable. Bowles had four seasons to make the Jets good, and his first one, at 10-6, was his only respectable effort. Three losing seasons in a row meant that he’s out, and the Jets will try to find a coach who’s good with quarterbacks so that Sam Darnold won’t be a bust. Perhaps Michigan Man Jim Harbaugh has changed his mind after that beatdown by Florida in the Peach Bowl.
Dirk Koetter, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Oh, who cares. This team should be contracted anyway.