If the sabermetric nerds ran the planet, Roger Clemens would have been carried off the Minute Maid Park field last night. In a 9-0 loss to the Reds, Clemens, according to The Hardball Times' Lee Sinins, set the all-time record in the RSAA (Runs Saved Against Average) statistic. What does that mean? We're not sure, actually. We read an explanation of it once, but we saw a squirrel out our window and kind of droned off. But anyway, Clemens passed Lefty Grove last night for the all-time RSAA title. So there you go, you dorks.