You awake in a large metal container, wearing a bear costume, with a tranquilizer dart stuck in your ass ...
• MLB: Andruw Jones belts 50th homer, but you guessed it, Braves still lose.
• WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs win Game 1 of ... oh forget it, you're not even reading this.
• MLB: That big fat K in the scorebook indicates Bonds' key strikeout in Giants' 10-inning loss to Padres.