The Mets have acquired right-handed pitchers Jorge Julio and John Maine in exchange for Anna Benson. Included as throw-ins were Anna Benson's tits and her husband Kris.

Now it's up to everyone else on Baltimore's roster to do what they can to get Kris Benson to cheat on her... just to see what would happen. Honestly, there is no way to predict how Anna Benson is going to react to this. I don't think it would be unreasonable to expect a Playboy shoot very soon, as well as an update to her website that is ignorant, profane, and frightening.

For infinitely more on the specifics of the deal, see:

News: Mets Trade Benson to O's for Julio [Mets Blog]
Benson-for-Julio talks revisited consummated [Amazin' Avenue]
Mets Deal Kris Benson to Orioles [Shea Faithful]

Contact information for this author is not available.