Bad Birdman


I suppose his hair and last year's slam dunk contest should've tipped us off. NOOCH forward Chris "Birdman" Andersen, who Kenny Smith once described as "missing a few cubes in his ice tray," has been completely booted from the NBA for violating the hell out of the league's drug policy.

He can apply for reinstatement in two years. For a guy to get that kind of ban, according to the NBA's collective bargaining agreement, he has to test positive four times for steroids, or one time for what the NBA considers a "drug of abuse." Those include methamphetamine, cocaine, LSD, heroin, codeine, morphine, and PCP. I tend to doubt that The Birdman has tested positive for steroids four times.

Up until now, Andersen has been best known for his ridiculous athleticism, even more ridiculous hair, and his legendary performance in last year's slam dunk contest, when it took him a combined fifteen attempts to get his two dunks down. Dr. J. made fun of him all night long. I still have it on my DVR.

Best of luck to him with whatever happens to be going on. But it's probably going to be difficult for a 5-point-per-game scorer to get much of a look after a two-year drug suspension. Enjoy Europe, Birdman. For you, I recommend against Amsterdam.