Deadspin's own A.J. Daulerio is in Detroit, trying to find things to do. He files this report; check out all his reports right here.
Here's JoJo. He's the salami football from Ilowski's Sausage that I picked up this morning; he will be accompanying me on the rest of my not-so-exciting adventures. JoJo is a strapping 1 1/4 pound salami made of the Midwest's finest dead farm animals. He's a local, so he'll be very beneficial in helping me navigate through downtown Detroit at night and also in perfecting the dialect. Plus — and you'll be happy to hear this — he's a former videographer, well-versed in appropriate lighting and how to hold the JVC camera steady.