Sheryl Crow No Longer Obligated To Wear Plastic Yellow Bracelet

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have split up, offering up an emphatic "no" to the question of whether or not he is strong enough to be her man.

For those of you wondering about your chances of hooking up with Crow, take a few minutes to consider that seven victories in the Tour de France and one victory over testicular cancer wasn't enough for her. I tend to think that the "Baby, I'm an invited commentor at Deadspin.com" pick-up line will fall short. But you might want to try, "Baby, I've got two balls."

Ouch. I'm sorry about that. I don't know what comes over me sometimes.

I just wonder who's getting custody of the puppy. If the little guy is still alive.

Lance Armstrong, Sheryl Crow Break Up [Yahoo! News]

Lance Armstrong Puppy Updates! [Deadspin]