Everyone has been trying to come up with a nickname for Detroit Tigers first baseman Chris Shelton, who has nine home runs and is destroying everything right now.
Most of the nicknames have had something to do with Shelton's red hair, but that's too easy, as far as we're concerned.
Fortunately, the curious gentlemen at Gheorge: The Blog have come up with an excellent answer. Chris Shelton is Sloth from The Goonies.
Sometime last season, long before he became some hybrid Bob Hamelin/Dave Kingman HR-hitting machine, Baseball Tonight flashed Shelton's mug on the screen, and only one image flashed in my mind...think 1985 tale of misfits, desperately searching for "One-Eyed" Willy's lost treasure in order to save their parents house...think dark, dungy basement...think Rocky Road...that's right folks, stand and applaud if you want for the 2006 AL MVP, Chunk's best friend, and GTB's Athlete of the Week, Chris "Sloth" Shelton...
It's perfect. Not only is the physical resemblance somewhat scary, but if Shelton were to make a run at the all-time home run leaders, we would have assurance that the legend of "Baby! Ruth!" would remain pristine and ominpotent.
(SECOND UPDATE: Oh, and also here. So maybe we were a little late on this one.)