Yesterday was a sad day for all of us: The Ron Mexico case has been settled. No drawn-out trial, no herpes DNA evidence, no testimony from Marcus "New Mexico" Vick: It appears that Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is off the hook.
"The case is resolved," Vick's attorney, V. Lawrence Woodward, told the Journal-Constitution on Monday. "That's all I can say."
Cale Conley, attorney for plaintiff Sonya Elliott, used the same words to acknowledge the settlement and also declined any further comment.
This is good for Vick, of course, and probably good for the accuser, minus that whole lingering herpes problem. But it's certainly bad for America, which will never be able to revel in the true genius of Ron Mexico, a moniker that will live on only in fantasy team names, license plates and video games. We must never forget, fans; we must never, ever forget.