On. The. Clock.

MJD is coming to you live from the sports bar today, which means, yes, I have a laptop in a sports bar. I'm a little nervous about Ricky Manning Jr. walking in here and kicking my ass. Even if someone walks in with a Manning Jr. jersey, there's going to be immediate beef. I don't play. Dude will be gettin' a Dell... upside his head.

The draft has officially begun... the Texans are on the clock with 15 minutes, and we'll see how much of it they use to select Mario Lopez... er, Williams. Hopefully, as soon as this really gay catwalk intro is done. I think that was designed specifically for Matt Leinart.

And here's MDS on the opening of the draft festivities:

Greetings from Deadspin NFL Draft Central, where we've got ESPN on one TV and NFL Network on the other. Can Mike Mayock overtake Mel Kiper Jr. as the alpha male of the draft? We'll find out over the next several hours.

Yes, you heard right: The Texans really are passing on Reggie Bush. This shows, once again, why mock drafts are fun, but they're horriblyinaccurate and wrong more than 90 percent of the time. Art Bietz examined 36 mock drafts in 2003: and found that only one of them got more than five picks right. The official Web site of Mel Kiper claims, "Mel's in-depth knowledge of the nation's most talented collegiate football players has enabled him to accurately predict as much as 80 percent of first-round draft selections."

But that's nonsense; no one predicts 80 percent of first-round draft selections.

So we'll have some fun this afternoon, but we won't claim we know what the hell is going on. During the NFL draft, no one does.

1. Houston Texans: Mario Williams, DE, North Carolina State Williams' nickname is Super Mario. Last year, the first defensive player taken was cornerback Pacman Jones. This is a very good sign for the draft prospects of University of Miami junior linebacker Frogger Johnson. We're going to hear countless comparisons of Williams to Sam Bowie, the player the Portland Trail Blazers chose in the 1984 draft right before the Chicago Bulls took Michael Jordan. But even if Bush does become a great player, Williams will be more like Akeem Olajuwon (whom the Houston Rockets took first overall in 1984) than Sam Bowie. Sure, if Houston had it to do all over again, they'd rather have Jordan, but they're plenty happy with their decision to take Olajuwon, who led them to two championships. Even if Bush is great, Texans fans won't be disappointed with Williams.