Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away

A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correctly: $500,000! We don't know Cooper's financial situation enough to make a firm guess as to whether or not they can cover that ... but we'll say that we have our doubts.

The judge had little sympathy for Cooper's plight.

Berea Municipal Judge Marisa Meyer said the $500,000 bond is not excessive, saying "I'm not comfortable releasing him until a psychiatric evaluation is complete." Cooper's attorney, Elizabeth Kelley, says her client has already been seeking counseling and "desperately wants to stop this type of behavior in the future."

The interview with Judge Meyer about her ruling continued.

"So, what kind of stuff goes on back in chambers?
"Oh, filing legal papers, writing up memos, so on."
"Filing legal papers, writing memos, the self-use of Fred Smoot sex toys, that type of thing?"
"No ... why?"

$500,000 Bond For Library Porn Viewer [WKYC]