Hey, Kids, Come Out To The Park!

We encourage all kids in the Philadelphia area to get their tickets now for August 20 at Citizens Bank Park, for a very special Phillies promotion for a Sunday afternoon game against the Nationals: It's The Brett Myers Back-To-School Pack!

Brett Myers Back-to-School Pack
Get ready for school with a special gift for children 14 and under.

Considering what Myers has been up to lately, we encourage moms out there to bring their husbands ... or to at least wear a catcher's mask. Probably wouldn't hurt to attach a throat protector too.

Philadelphia Phillies Promotions [MLB.com]
Brett Myers Punched His Wife The Face [Deadspin]

(UPDATE: By the way, via Uni Watch, here's what all fans should wear to the game.)

(SECOND UPDATE: Myers says he's taking some time off.)

(THIRD UPDATE: Swear to God, in the matter of time it took us to save this, they changed the promotion to "ShopRite Phillies Back to School Drawstring Back Pack." They have their ducks in a row over there in Philly.)

(FOURTH UPDATE: See, we weren't lying.)