The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them.
The bad news: As we learned from Nick Saban, if it comes up at all this year, coach Bill Cowher will apparently be unable to use a challenge ... to see whether or not he used a challenge.
We love it when the NFL gets all meta.
Steelers 28, Dolphins 17 [NFL.com] (Photo by Getty Images)
(By the way ... that really was Pink, wasn't it? Right? Heavens: Keep that thing away from Costas.)