Come on, that sofa's not going to develop a butt sinkhole by itself ...
• College football: Central Florida at Marshall. What's that in the distance ... a Thundering Herd? No, sadly. Just your stomach growling. [ESPN2]
• MLB: American League Division Series, Detroit at N.Y. Yankees, Game 2. Jeter has peaked, of course. Have Yankees? [ESPN]
• NHL: Buffalo at Carolina; Dallas at Colorado. Don't worry people; it's still OLN, and it's still mostly rodeo. But hey, hockey's back! [Versus]