Today In The Premiership...

Aston Villa 1-1 Tottenham. The day could've been so much worse for Juan Pablo Angel. Instead of missing the net on a penalty kick, three minutes later heading one into his goal, losing the game, and ending up in the trunk of a hooligan's car with his head wrapped in duct tape and his shoes on fire, he just missed the net on a penalty kick, three minutes later headed one into his own goal, and then had his ass saved by a Gareth Barry goal to salvage the tie for Villa, along with their unbeaten record.

Arsenal 3-0 Watford. Arsenal is comfortably back to their ass-beating ways, stomping out Watford by a score of 3-0, marking the Gunners sixth straight win. Watford actually had their fair share of chances, but the only one they were able to put home was an own goal from Jordan Stewart. It was also the Premiership debut for young Theo Walcott, who looks like a really well-built 11-year-old. He slid into Robin van Persie's spot after his two-goal performance earlier in the week for England's under-21 team.

Wigan 1-3 Manchester United. At different points throughout today, Manchester United was losing to Wigan, and then held a three-point lead over Chelsea at the top of the Premiership standings... both of them managed to change. Wigan led the entire first half on a fourth-minute goal from Leighton Baines, but United came out in the second half and treated Wigan like Wisconsin's currently treating Minnesota. Ryan Giggs, who hadn't played in a month, made all the difference. And Chelsea went on to beat Reading in the late game, so they're again knotted at the top of the standings.

Other scores:

Reading 0-1 Chelsea
Portsmouth 2-0 West Ham
Middlesbrough 2-1 Everton
Manchester City 0-0 Sheffield United
Liverpool 1-1 Blackburn