What to watch as the heat from your birthday candles cause the terror index to go from yellow to orange ...
• College football: Louisiana-Lafayette at Florida Atlantic. You come into the FA, you should get your behind kicked. Why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ballgame and get it on some more? [ESPN2]
• MLB: National League Championship Series, St. Louis at New York Mets, Game 6. Cardinals one win from Woorld Series, so why are we constantly imagining that we see Neil Rackers everywhere? [Fox]
• Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Liverpool at Bordeaux (France). Can we skip the game and get straight to the wine? [ESPN Classic]