Your average American sports fan, who isn't aware of sports blogs and didn't stay in an airport hotel last night (and therefore didn't read USA Today yesterday) must have been confused last evening when, apropos of nothing, their daily trip to ESPN.com revealed that ESPN grammarian Michael Irvin was apologizing for something.
The rest of our tiny circle of voyeurs and sewer rats already knew about Irvin's "he must have had a slave grandfather" comments about Tony Romo and his supposed white-boy speed, though that didn't help us make much sense out of Irvin's "apology."
"I do want to apologize for those comments," Irvin said. "They were inappropriate and insensitive. My whole thing, what I always try to do, is give people a first-hand knowledge of what it's like in the locker room and how we as players joke around with one another.
"This is how I joke around with Romo when we're playing basketball ... certainly, there's a difference from me the player and me the broadcaster. We may joke around like that in the locker room, and I'm trying to bring them in the locker room."
A few questions. First: Tony Romo and Michael Irvin play basketball? Really? In the middle of the season? Does Parcells know about this? Our real question, though: Why would anyone doubt that the way Irvin was in the interview is exactly the way he is in the locker room? After all, he sounded extremely, you know, stoned.
Irvin Apologizes For Racial Comments [ESPN]
Irvin Latest Analyst To Enter Hot Water [USA Today]
Michael Irvin Has A Theory About Tony Romo's Speed [Deadspin]