In a move that we liken to John Glenn falling out of the teacup ride at Disneyland, NASCAR champion Jimmie Johnson broke his wrist on Friday when he fell out of a golf cart during a celebrity golf tournament in Florida.
"I was in a golf cart and the driver took a sharp turn," Johnson said in a statement. "I wasn't holding on tight enough, landed awkwardly on the ground and heard a little pop. It was a fluke deal, but fortunately we're in the offseason and I don't plan to miss any additional time."
We know that you're thinking: Drunk. But we're thinking: Conspiracy. Does anyone know where Gunnar's dad was at the time? Are we positive this was an accident? Is that TV still on top of the fridge? Our promise to you is that we will get to the bottom of this.
By the way, the video of Gunnar's dad going ballistic over that Johnson race has apparently been taken down by YouTube, which is fuckin' bullshit. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
NASCAR Champ Johnson Breaks Wrist In Fall From Golf Cart [USA Today]
The NASCAR School Of Parenting [Deadspin]