NBA Roundup: Warriors, Come Out To Plaaaay ...

Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ...

What The Fungus? We'll admit it; we have no idea how a lot of things work. Like, how do they wrap those individual cheese slices? How did dinosaurs become oil? And where do squirrels sleep? All mysteries to us. Here's another one: The Golden State Warriors have beaten the Mavericks four straight times. Witchcraft! On Monday, Dallas' 17-game win streak came to a curious, almost comical end as the Warriors (donning throwback uniforms) led by as many as 31 (31!) on their way to a 117-100 win at Oracle Arena in Oakland. Dallas' Dirk Nowitzki even got a technical while on the bench, as the Mavericks lost for only the third time in three months. Mickael Pietrus scored 20 points for the Warriors. Any theories on this? Because we're stumped.

Lakers: WWJD? We're not saying that Phil Jackson is giving up, but he had this to say on Sunday about the Lakers' six-game losing streak: "I considered retirement just last week when we were on this losing streak. Jesus Christ could come back and we still wouldn't have a chance because we've ruined the mix by not playing together." Well, we're going to have to disagree, as a Christ-Kobe Bryant combination would certainly help, and probably make LA a serious contender. With Jesus in the lineup, teams would no longer be able to double-team Kobe in critical situations. Plus Christ sees the floor extremely well, distributes with aplomb, and just makes everyone around him better, like Steve Nash. We just think that Jackson is underestimating the Son of God. Now, would Christ be able to grasp the nuances of the triangle offense? If Scottie Pippen can do it, our answer would have to be yes. Meanwhile, we can't imagine Jesus doing this, really.

Suns Win. Affirmed.. They call him the "Brazilian blur,'' but we just call him "Big Boss Horse." Leandro Barbosa equaled his career high with 32 points as the Suns (10-1 since the All-Star break) took a 103-82 win over Houston.

Pyyyle! Playing the Memphis Grizzlies is usually just what a player needs to boost his stats, or at the very least it's good for a laugh. Vince Carter's 30 points led New Jersey to a 113-102 win.