If Only This Policy Applied To Julian TavarezS

Note to Cincinnati Little Leaguers: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. As we mentioned briefly last week, a new rule there for the upcoming season forbids any type of "negative chatter" during youth baseball games. To illustrate, we've made this chart.

• OK to say to the opposition:
"Your uniform certainly looks spiffy, Jeff!"
"Hey batter, how about this cray-zee weather we've been having?"
"Pitcher wears a dress! Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

• No longer legal:
"You hit like Ryan Seacrest!"
"Hey Yankees! You can take your trophy and stick it up your ass!"
Dismantling the other teams' bikes and throwing the parts into the creek.

Will this policy help build children's self esteem? Or is it just another tool to help the terrorists win? We don't claim to have the answers, leaving it to this hard-hitting MSNBC interview segment to sort out the controversy. Our favorite part is when the child psychologist says "The ballfield is about kindness and learning social skills." Totally.

No Chatter, Chatter! [Cincinnati Enquirer]