Minor Enterprise: Hey, Kids! It's Blowie!

What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

Presenting the only minor league mascot which is potentially lethal when not cooked properly! Yes, it's Blowie, who represents the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League. Five dollars for a field level box seat is a small price to pay for his appealing antics, with extra dividends later when the kids can't sleep due to night terrors. But here's the beauty part: Unlike that elitist Hollywood jerk SpongeBob SquarePants, Blowie is available for birthday parties, keggers and fraternity hazings! Just fill out this handy Blowie Appearance Request Form (pdf), and you're on your way. As spelled out on the form, however, please note:

• Detailed directions to your event are required. Blowie cannot access Mapquest.

• Cost is $55 per hour, with any appearance outside a 30-mile radius of Capital City Stadium costing an additional 44.5 cents per mile.

• "Please provide the mascot with an appropriate and private dressing area (no bathrooms!)."

• Blowie needs your fax number, for some reason.

Well, that's it; have fun. And remember, Kids love Blowie!

This week in minor league promotions:

Tribute To Cher. Tonight, Fresno Grizzlies (Triple-A, Pacific Coast League). It was a close race, but Sonny Bono's former wife and performer of the timeless hit Half Breed has won the team's Famous Fan contest, which pitted five notable Fresno natives in an election decided by Grizzlies fans. Coming in a very close second (and our hands-down choice) was Dave Seville, creator of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Also in the running were Joanna Kerns (Growing Pains) and Fresno mayor Alan Autry, who played Bubba Skinner on the In The Heat of the Night television series. The Grizzlies will pay tribute to Cher throughout tonight's game, whatever that means.

World Record First Pitch Attempt. Saturday, April 28, Brevard County Manatees (Single-A, Florida State League). A veritable conga line of hurlers will traipse onto the mound at Space Coast Stadium to try and break the record of 5,906 ceremonial first pitches before the game with the St. Lucie Mets. Gates open at 6 a.m., so come on down! (Cincinnati mayors strongly discouraged). [Thanks to Benjamin Hill].

Feeding Frenzy Monday. Monday, April 30, Clearwater Threshers (Single-A, Florida State League). For a $10 ticket it's all-you-can-eat snack bar action for the Threshers' game vs. the Fort Myers Miracle. I don't know about you, but I can eat a lot ... and three days gives me plenty of time to get to Florida. The bell tolls for thee, Threshers promotional budget.

Bobblehead of The Moment: Get your tickets now for Patrick Mannelly Bobblehead Night, set for Saturday, July 7, when the Schaumburg Flyers (Independent Northern League) pay tribute to legendary Bears' long snapper Patrick Mannelly. He's an Atlanta native who played his college ball at Duke, so we're as confused by this as you. [Thanks to Jim Ulrich].

Minor Enterprise: Hey, Kids! It's Blowie!

Hero Of The Week: The Peninsula Pilots (Coastal Plain League) are asking for help for their friend Kevin Eadie, who has been their bat boy for the past five seasons. Kevin, 12, suffers from Niemann-Pick Type C, which is a neurodegenerative brain disease that strikes primarily in early childhood. Funds are being sought for accelerated research on the disease, for which there is currently no cure. Donations and wishes of support can be sent to the Kevin Eadie Trust, the National Niemann-Pick Disease Foundation or the Ara Parseghian Medical Research Foundation. The Pilots have set aside Aug. 12 as Kevin Eadie Night at War Memorial Stadium, which gives you plenty of time to make plans to head out to Hampton, Va., to lend your support. Hey, it'll also give you a chance to check out Pilots first baseman Ernie Banks!

We want your minor league tips! Send info on upcoming events, photos, or sushi recipes to RickChand@gmail.com. And thanks!