Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax MachinesS

Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!

"The season is still very young, but up to now the results are clearly not acceptable to me or to Yankee fans," Steinbrenner said in a statement released through his personal PR man, Howard Rubenstein. "However, Brian Cashman our general manager, Joe Torre our manager and our players all believe that they will turn this around quickly. I believe in them. I am here to support them in any way to help them accomplish this turnaround."

"It is time to put excuses and talk away. It is time to see if people are ready to step up and accept their responsibilities. It is time for all of them to show me and the fans what they are made of. Let's get going. Let's go out and win and bring a world championship back to New York. That's what I want."

As always, Steinbrenner was nowhere to be seen, talking instead through faxed press releases. We have decided we've had about enough of this silliness. Everyone likes to believe that Steinbrenner is the overlording godfather, looming above everyone and firing thunderbolts down at the mere mortals. But that Steinbrenner hasn't existed in a decade. He's just a sick, old man, protected and shielded with a myth, whom we suspect isn't even aware much anymore that the Yankees are even playing. He dodders down there in Tampa and occasionally propped up for public appearances. Why people still play around and humor this notion that Steinbrenner is a presence anymore is confounding. Perhaps we need Steinbrenner, we need to believe that baseball owners aren't just faceless corporations who care far more about their revenue sharing and online media deals than whether their team wins or loses. But it's not true: Steinbrenner is a mirage from an older time, hiding behind press releases so we don't see how decrepit he has really become. Perhaps it's time to give up the ghost.

Torre Gets Off With Warning [New York Daily News]