Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians

What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

From time to time someone will try to get me to listen to Christian Rock. "It's just like any other form of music," they'll say. "The only difference is that when they're singing about love, it's for their love of the Lord." Fine, but I've always thought that really good music examines life in a more universal sense; not just the times when things are going well. The best love songs come from heartache. And as far as I'm aware, I've never come home to find that the Lord has thrown all of my belongings onto the front lawn with a note in my catcher's mitt that says "Don't ever call me."

The Indianapolis Indians don't find this argument valid, evidently. That's because the best Christian Rock band you will ever hear with an AFC punter singing lead vocals, Connersvine, is set to entertain Victory Stadium on Saturday. Hunter Smith, the Indianapolis Colts' veteran punter, and guitarist Chris Wilson will rock the masses in a "pre-game Christian concert" before the Indians take on the Charlotte Knights. And be advised: God knows how to party!

As [Connersvine] continue to write new songs and challenge themselves in worship leading, God has poured out his creativity through them. They believe that God, the Greatest Artist, is the inventor of creativity and as believers we have direct access to the Father of creativity through worship.

And ... exciting bonus! Fans in attendance will also be treated to the musical stylings of Colts' tight end Ben Utecht! Plus, Saturday is Mascot Mania, so you really can't go wrong. But if none of this appeals to you, why not stay home and get a jump on growing your back hair, because the Indians' Hairiest Back Contest will be here before you know it.

Other promotions, other lands, after the jump:

24 Hours Of Baseball. Saturday, June 2. Brooklyn Cyclones (Class-A New York-Penn League). Beginning at 4:30 p.m., the Cyclones front office staff will play baseball for 24 straight hours, in an effort to raise money and awareness for local Brooklyn food shelters. The staff, according to their web site, "will take on teams consisting of the Borough President's office, T-ballers, circus clowns, Coney Island freaks, The Old Boys of Summer, mimes, surviving members of The Village People, various dogs, cats and other pets, the infirm, the incontinent, and the New York Yankees (some of those may be ours). There is no charge, but fans will be asked to make donations toward the charities.

Adam West Appearance. Tuesday, June 5. Myrtle Beach Pelicans (Class-A Carolina League). Batman always shows up when you least expect him. Also, apparently, he fails to show up when you most expect him. According to Benjamin Hill over at MiLB.com, West has been booked to appear at Altoona's Blair County Park on three separate occasions, and has canceled each time. Well, of course: Altoona doesn't have a bat-signal.

Toga Party. Tuesday, June 5. Lake Elsinore Storm (Class-A California League). All fans who sing I Gave My Love A Cherry will be admitted free, although their guitars will be violently smashed by Lake Elsinore staff.

Mr. Celery T-Shirt Giveaway. Tuesday, June 5. Wilmington Blue Rocks (Class-A Carolina League). My Mr. Celery memorabilia collection is now shy one very desirable item. But considering that the Blue Rocks are only giving out these shirts to kids, it should be very easy to steal one.

Mascot Of the Week. Buster, Lakewood BlueClaws (Class-A South Atlantic League), Saturday, May 26. It's not every mascot who can say that he was manhandled by the great King Kong Bundy. (Also, the kid seems a little too into the abuse, if you ask me). Funny what happens to pro wrestlers when they get older; these days Bundy is almost a perfect sphere. If he were to fall over he might never stop rolling.

Bulletin! From the Danville Braves web site: Calvin Funkhouser has left the Danville Braves staff. His last official day was Sunday, May 20. He will be helping run the speed pitch for the Braves at Festival in the Park.

Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians

Confusing Photo Of The Week. Delmarva Shorebirds (Class-A South Atlantic League). Well, the catcher is obviously covering second base because ... and the runner is starting his slide so early, due to ... wait, wha-?

We want your tips! Send any minor league photos, interesting stories or guitar shards to RickChand@gmail.com. And thanks!