If Detroit Pitchers Played All Nine Positions ...

We have to agree with Bugs and Cranks: Seeing a truly awful defensive play in baseball is darned near as good as seeing a truly great one. The site's Lead Glove Awards are out, and once again we see Manny Ramirez in a place of honor. A couple of our favorite lines:

• "First base, Dmitri Young, Nationals. With the quickness of a battleship and the coordination of a cross-eyed goose, no manager puts Dmitri at first base if he can avoid it. Don't laugh Brewer fans, Prince Fielder's man-boobs aren't far behind."

• "Third base, Chone Figgins, Angels. He's finally settling into one position to be crappy at instead of sucking all over the diamond. After he fielded 3B at a sweet .878 clip last year, why wouldn't the Angels put him there every day? After all, he can show off his laser-rocket arm he's used to collect 8 outfield assists in the last 5 years."

• "Outfield, Matt Stairs, Blue Jays: Never a master of geometry, Stairs takes terrible angles on fly balls and if a ball would happen to ricochet off a wall, he might never find it. Stairs was used almost exclusively as a DH last season, but apparently the Blue Jays have the same sense of humor as we do."

And the worst fielder of all time? B&C chooses, apparently, Dick Stuart (Pirates, '58-'69). He wasn't called Dr. Strangeglove for nothing. For one thing, he managed to make 29 errors in 1963 ... at first base.

Lead Glove Awards [Bugs And Cranks]