It's a sad day in the world of competitive eating — and when isn't it a sad day in the world of competitive eating? — because the Babe Ruth of the ingestion of pig lips and assholes, Takeru Kobayashi, is gonna miss the July 4 Coney Island Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. His injury certainly makes a bit of sense.
In an entry on his blog entitled "Occupational hazard," Kobayashi said: "My jaw refused to fight any more." The injury occurred only a week after the slender 29-year-old started training to win his seventh straight title at the annual July 4 Nathan's Famous hot dog eating event on New York's Coney Island.
"I feel ashamed that I couldn't notice the alarm bells set off by my own body," he said. "But with the goal to win another title with a new record, I couldn't stop my training so close to the competition."
We suspect he's hearing the Joey Chestnut footsteps a little bit, or at least the gnashing of his teeth and the rumbling of stomach acid. We had initially planned on attending the contest this year; this just became considerably less likely. To quote Alvy Singer, "I think I'm starting to get some feeling back in my jaw."
Well, My July 4 Is Now Ruined [Gheorghe: The Blog]