Well, if that whole Barry Bonds Won't Play On ESPN thing turns out to be based in reality, we're all in luck; Bonds is never going to break Hank Aaron's record. Because everyone of his at-bats is gonna be on The Worldwide Leader until, well, until he breaks it, or dies. So, you know, enjoy.

While some understandably have concerns how the whole investigation into Bonds is being held, it's clear we're awfully close to the moment of truth now. (And Giants fans can cheer even harder, considering their history of aiding and abetting.)

As it turns out, Bud Selig is going to most likely not be there after all, which we still find a cop out. We want to see his face when Bonds hits it; more than ever, we need a Webcam.

Anyway, John Smoltz — who has given up eight Bonds bombs in his career already — takes the mike tonight. And this is all going to happen, eventually. Do us a favor, Barry; just make it quick, and not in the face, OK?

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