Any athlete with his own Web site has several options. He can be entirely weird and wonderful. He can speak blandly about this team and life As A Baseball Player. He can sporadically update and ask for charitable donations. Or he can just try to sell shit. Or, if you're Tigers pitcher Jason Grilli, you can encourage your "fans" to attack people.
Grilli has his "official" MySpace page, which he uses to ... well, we're not sure what he uses it for. But the other day, he received the following email: "YOU ABSOLUTELY SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We'll see you in Toledo soon......enjoy the bus ride, pal!"
This is a little rude, but, considering Grilli is is having a horrible season — he has given up runs in his last five appearances — perhaps understandable. But Grilli didn't handle it well, sending out the following MySpace "bulletin."
Buy this guy a beer for me and dump it straight over his head. tell him it was from the CHEESEMAN! HAHA. Help play a game with me fans! Need your assistance! HAHA
As I said, I dont get mad, I get even. I thought it would be a nice gesture to bombard this guys email account with some nice letters from you all, THE TRUE FANS! I think hearing from you guys would be much better than coming from me. I will have the last laugh on this one. Put a bat in his hand and see if he can hit 95mph! Thanks to you all who will have fun on this one with me. Hey Mike, hope you enjoy keeping up with your email.
And then he lists the poor guy's email address. Well, we'd say "poor guy" if, you know, Jason Grilli had any fans. We imagine the emailer seeing Grilli's message and then clicking "Send/Receive" all day, receiving only some expense reports and emails from pals saying, "Heard from anybody yet? No. Man. Beware the Cheeseman."
Official Jason Grilli Page [MySpace]