Know What They Call A Quarter Pounder With Cheese In Moose Jaw?

If you haven't yet noticed something different this weekend — that CFL mention should have tipped you off — it's that I'm bringing you Deadspin this weekend from the glorious city of St. John's, Newfoundland. This wouldn't be possible if the exchange rate on Deadspin posts wasn't so tempting. But in the past week I've been taking in sports coverage via TSN, which is Canada's take on ESPN, and gotten to know anchor Jennifer Hedger quite well. Predictably, they often lead off SportsCentre with the Toronto Blue Jays. (It's so cute, they think they're still in a Wild Card race). Their hopes to stay within reasonable distance of the wild card clubhouse leaders, the Mariners, took a setback as the LA Angels shut them out, 3-0. They're now 10 games out of a playoff spot. But they still believe!

Just Bat Him Cleanup Already. Okay, show of hands: who said the Chicago Cubs-Arizona Diamondbacks series in late August would be a battle of two first-place teams? D'backs pitcher Micah Owings did his darnedest, hitting another home run, but Cubs pitchers basically shut down everyone else, coming away with the 6-2 win.

Anabolic Decaf. A 2-1 loss to the Kansas City Royals was the least of the Cleveland Indians problems. Indians minor outfielder Juan Valdes was suspended 50 games after testing positive for a performance enhancer. One hundred percent Colombian steroids. The richest steroids in the world.

His Foot Got In The Way Of My Slide! During the San Diego Padres' 14-3 romp over the Philadelphia Phillies, There was some kind of disagreement in the fourth inning. The Phillies' baserunner Carlos Ruiz was for universal health care, while Padres second baseman Marcus Giles felt he shouldn't have to pay extra taxes. As tensions flared, the other players sprang from the dugouts to help. But eventually the teams went back to their respective dugouts once they realized they weren't jumping into a lively health care debate — Ruiz merely slid hard into Giles and he didn't like it.

And It Only Took Eight Hours. Four hours of a rain delay, coupled with four hours of regulation baseball, left little time for Carlos Guillen to hit a walk-off home run, sending the Detroit Tigers to a 9-6 win over the New York Yankees. So Guillen's hit came at 3:30 in the morning, which is peak prostitution solicitation time in Detroit. At least that's, um, what a friend told me.