If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory if you execute properly and not beat yourself. Fuck no, you didn't! That's you assuming you're not inherently inferior. That's disrespect at its most blatant! I'll meet you at the 50-yard line with my half-shirt on. GWRAARRR!
•Chad Johnson has promised, as he seems to do weekly, to perform the newest, greatest addition to the Chad Johnson New Millennium Minstrel Show should he get in the endzone during Monday's game against the Ravens. This despite the fact that he didn't score on the Ravens in their two meetings last year.
Says Ocho Cinco: ""Ed [Reed] is on my hit list. Ed almost knocked me out last year on that first play of the game when they intercepted it and took it to the house, so I owe him one."
•The Raiders defense named their fumble-recovery drills this week after Lions running back Tatum Bell, who fumbled five times last year as a member of the Broncos. In response, the Lions named their "let the ball hit the ground" drills after Oakland QB Daunte Culpepper.
•49ers TE Vernon Davis said he wants to "abuse" Week 1 opponent The Buzzsaw That is the Arizona Cardinals. Pink Taco officials were scrambling at post time to add "Don't let Vernon Davis abuse us so much" to the list of Cardinals' "keys to the game."
•Browns receiver Josh Cribbs said "We're going to take this game and win it, and we're going to move on," said Cribbs. "It's not even a second thought in our heads. There's no doubt in my mind [we're going to win]." He paused, then asked the reporter, "Wait, we're not starting Brady Quinn, are we? No? Okay, then you can print that." The Steelers, meanwhile, have won 13 of the last 14 versus the Browns.
Simply rousing. You mean none of them shaved any sort claim of ownership of another player in their head? DeAngelo Hall wonders why you even bother.