Roll Over And Die Like A Champion

We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try.

We were in attendance for the Washington-Ohio State game on Saturday, and even though the Huskies fell apart in the second half, you could still see Washington coach Ty Willingham's smile from 200 feet in the air. (Which is where our seats were. We really miss some great big-time college football living in New York.) He has to be ecstatic to be out of there.

Some are blaming Weis for the disaster, which is probably inevitable, but the hardcore Irish bloggers are just looking for someone who can play this damned game.

WANTED: Large people who get in the way of other large people: No offensive line experience needed! If you have played o-line at any level - including touch football once a year on Thanksgiving- you are already overqualified. Applicants need to only be able to see a person in front of them and delay that person's movement in your direction from anywhere to a half-second to as long as possible. Current employees practice the "falling down" technique, which is not advisable, but allowed.

If applicants have no offensive line experience, then we ask that they be familiar with the awkward situation in a hallway or store aisle where you and a person walking the other way both accidentally step in the same direction trying to get around one another. Even if you do this on purpose as a method of flirting with an attractive co-customer, we assure you, your footwork is probably better than our current employees.

That team's gonna lose at least eight games this year; an empathetic nation mourns, totally.

Formerly Prestigious College Football Team Accepting Applicants At Many Positions! Apply Now! [Rakes Of Mallow]
Is Charlie Weis Just The Wizard Of Oz? [Foul Balls]