Maybe Next Time He'll Use Mapquest

Welcome to Long Island; a primitive, lawless land where roving gangs of youth sports parents will take you down like a wounded wildebeast. Snake Pliskin won't even go in there anymore. Last week we told you of the inspiring story of two mob-connected brothers who beat up a Little League coach for benching an 11-year-old for cursing during practice. We didn't think that could be topped; but here's a contender:

A Long Island woman has been charged with hitting her daughter's soccer coach with a folding chair because he gave her bad directions to a game, the police said yesterday. The woman, Alicia Vigil, 33, of East Rockaway, was arrested at her home on Monday and charged with reckless endangerment, the Nassau County police said. She is charged with swinging a folding chair and hitting the coach in the face.

Oh, and ...

Cops said that as a parting shot, Vigil scratched a van she believed belonged to the coach.

Onlookers said that Vigil was mad that Nassau Queens coach Sam Schwarzman, 67, had stopped sending her e-mail directions to games. The coach suffered a cut to the lip and cheek in the attack. The girls soccer team is composed of 11- and 12-year-olds.

In her defense, the coach did say right on Spring, left on Juniper, and everyone knows Juniper is a dead end.

East Rockaway: Soccer Mom Is Charged [New York Times]
Long Island Socker Mom Busted [New York Post]
Just Another Peaceful Day Of Youth Baseball On Long Island [Deadspin]