In A Year, He'll Invade And Occupy Columbus, Georgia

Nick Saban was supposed to be the savior for Alabama football — and hey, the Dolphins sure have taken off since he left — but the team has collapsed down the stretch, losing their last three games, including last week's home loss to Louisiana-Monroe. Fortunately, Saban has been able to keep the losses in perspective.

That is to say: He recognizes they're only roughly equivalent to September 11.

"Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event," Saban said during the opening remarks of his weekly news conference. "It may be 9-11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event."

We actually appreciated the beleaguered Alabama PR person's attempt to clean up the mess.

"What Coach Saban said did not correlate losing a football game with tragedy; everyone needs to understand that. He was not equating losing football games to those catastrophic events," football spokesman Jeff Purington said in a statement to The Associated Press. "The message was that true spirit and unity become evident in the most difficult of times. Those were two tremendous examples that everyone can identify with."

Absolutely. Saban continued: "No, what I meant to say was that the loss was like having bodies fall at you from the sky and watching your loved ones die senselessly. Wait ... that came out wrong."

Nick Saban One Ups Kellen Winslow Jr [100 Percent Injury Rate]