Fun With Bermanisms

What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every baseball Bermanism ever (so he claims), and here they are.

It's hard to believe that at one time, these were considered clever. My least favorite? I have always detested Mike April Blowers, just because it's lazy. I also have a particular dislike for Joey Alba Cora; don't ask me why. There is also Dennis Short Order Cook and Steve Short Order Cooke, which is just inexcusable: If you're repeating yourself on this drivel, you really are ready for retirement. Anyway, my five worst, any one of which should be enough to warrant prison time:

• 5. Chris if I were a Carpenter

• 4. Mark Clark Bar

• 3. Rob the Flying Nen

• 2. Ozzie like a Virgil

• 1. Kirt what was that Manwaring

It's sad, really. Watching Berman these days is like watching a live Foreigner concert: It was bad enough the first time, but you mean to tell me that they're still doing it?

ESPN Announcer Chris Berman's Strange Sports Nicknames [Strange Cosmos] You're With Me, Kerry Leather And Lacy [100 Percent Injury Rate]