Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? We have a competition in us; we want no one else to succeed. We hate most people. There are times when we look at people and we see nothing worth liking. We've built up our hatreds over the years little by little. We see the worst in people. We don't need to look past seeing them to get all we need. We want to earn enough money we can get away from everyone. We can't keep doing this on our own, with these ... people.

If you have your hands just flapping, flapping like a dog, you're ready to be a Deadspin advertiser. Click here to find out how.

• Verizon
• TiVo
• Register.com
• Project Kuros
• The Whitest Kids U'Know