Deadspin
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ...
There's nothing I enjoy more than a good blog war. After Paul Pierce and a few of the other Celtics complained of cheap shots and trash talk by the host Sacramento Kings in their game on Wednesday, a couple of the teams' respective blogs started to go at it, and now we've got us a rasslin' match. First, The Celtics Blog called Sacramento "The Queens" in a headline, saying: The Celtics are a target again. Teams desperate for solutions will try anything they can to knock this team down. On this night, it didn't work. The Celtics held off the Queens and just waved good-bye to them. In the future, the C's will have to continue to maintain their focus and stick to playing superior basketball to keep winning games. Another good learning opportunity for this team that is growing stronger every day.
Counters Kings' blog Sactown Royalty: The world does not revolve around the Celtics. They are not a flock of untouchable clergymen. If they want flap their gums at Ron Artest and Francisco Garcia, they will receive gum-flapping in return. This was all just a really long way of pointing out the subtle reasons most of the country dislikes Boston sports fans. I really like CelticsBlog — I'd consider Jeff Clark a very good blogfriend. But when I see silly headlines like [The Queens Get Chippy], I want to punch someone in the nose. That moniker was stupid and played out in 2002. Analysis by gay joke is not remotely useful.
Clark then replies via e-mail: I admit, the use of that headline was probably in poor taste and maybe even out of character for me. It was just meant to be glib but I could see how it would offend or at least annoy people. I'll take a page from the athlete's guide to dealing with the media and say "If I offended anyone, I'm sorry." I simply read report after report this morning of how the Kings took a physical approach to the game and saw the coach quoted as saying that was pretty much the gameplan and I posted the quotes from those sources. If the newspapers got the facts wrong or misrepresented them, bad on them.
The Celtics beat the Kings 89-69. Then on Thursday, Boston invaded Seattle — in Ray Allen's return to his former home — and topped the Sonics 104-96 behind Paul Pierce's 37 points. And more good news for the Celtics; Kevin Garnett leads All-Star voting with 1,186,690 votes.
• Big Breakthrough. The Suns finally figured out how to stop a big man — in this case the Clippers' 7-footer, Chris Kaman — as Amare Stoudemire's 30 points and 15 rebounds led a 108-88 victory.
• Cleveland Somewhat Rocks. LeBron James managed 24 points, eight rebounds and seven assists to lead the Cavaliers past the Mavericks 88-81. Cleveland shot 36.4 percent from the floor, was 2-of-16 from the 3-point line and missed 10 free throws, which should tell you how well Dallas is playing.
• What Does He Charge For Just A Massage?. Quote of the week comes from Jason Williams of the Miami Heat, who is not thrilled with recent trade rumors. "We're like some high-paid prostitutes anyway in this league. They just use and get rid of us whenever they want."
• No God, Not That! As the new year approaches, it's time to count your blessings, NBA players. Enjoy what you have, because things could be much, much worse. Yes, this applies even if you play for the Knicks. Here is the proof.
Comments
Cmon now, is stopping Chris Kaman REALLY that hard? I've heard that a simple "down, boy!" works wonders.
In retaliation, Sactown should've called them the Boston Smelltics. Burn!
That looks more like a slap fight than a rasslin match.
Also, I thought Kevin James was the king of queens?
"Everybody knew Mo was going to be a project," Carlesimo said. "He's going to be a good player in this league, but the timetable is hard to set. What will accelerate the timetable is him getting game experience."
Either that, or he'll choke the living shit out of you.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Reggie Evans disagrees.
I'd be a prostitute if it meant making 7 figures a year for being bad at my job.
@ Jason Williams: very nice, how much?
Calm down, Micheal Bic.
"We're like some high-paid prostitutes anyway in this league. They just use and get rid of us whenever they want." Is that what really happened to Skeets? Who is this Ross Chandler, and what kind of blog is the Woods Hole?
I seem to remember a Submersible Operations Coordinator in the film Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!
/nothing to add on the NBA
/Bulls fan
Yeah, I see the logic there...
(1) Kings take cheap shots and talk trash.
(2) Fan blog makes fun of it.
(3) All Boston fans are assholes.
Okay, here's my counter-logic.
(1) This NBA Closer is posted.
(2) I read it.
(3) All non-Boston fans are assholes.
Hey, that was fun!
@complicated wet dreams: To quote the immortal Mr. Robinson, "I second that emotion".
@daver4470: Yeah... but the Queens thing was weak, you have to admit. Remember, everything is allowed as long as its funny.
As long as they don't have Dog Fights to settle this.
Nene > Sene?
"This was no boating accident."
Rick, you really study blowholes for a living?
@Sh-tShow: Except for taking offense to patently unfunny blogging.
Here goes:
The Boston Celtics fans remind me of one of those movies where the really dorky kid (fans of the Celtics pre-07) all of a sudden gets accepted by the cool crowd (the media, arguably even more superficial/shallow than high school "cool kids") for whatever reason (winning games pre-January), then proceeds to ditch his or her old friends (fans of other crap teams) and tries to convince themselves that they are something they are not (fans of the world's best basketball team). Eventually, the kid comes to his senses (sees the Celtics lose in the playoffs) and goes back to being his true self (fans of a non-championship team, albeit much better than last year), while in the process realizing that they were acting like a fool the whole time (assuming 2008 title was a given, comparing themselves to 72-10 Bulls). Everyone is better off in the end.
I don't hate the Celtics, but I'm getting mighty tired to them.
@HeavyPettingZoo: the boston celtics are lindsay lohan in mean girls?
@HeavyPettingZoo:
Patrick Dempsey in Can't Buy Me Love.
@Sh-tShow: @G Voll the Mole: Except they WEREN'T taking offense to patently unfunny blogging, it was "we didn't think this was funny, so all Boston fans are assholes."
That's not funny either, so am I perfectly justified in concluding that all Sacramento fans are cowfuckers? Or pedophiles? Because that's the leap here.
@Long Name: Good god, I thought DavidBowieFromthe1980AshesToAshesVideo was a long commenter name, then you shattered that record, and shattered your own record.
@HeavyPettingZoo: Then don't read a Celtics fan blog!!!! (Or posts about them.)
I just get sick of the following program in this country:
10 FAN=RootForTeam
20 IF Team=good then FAN=Asshole
30 GOTO 10
No, I'm sorry -- the assholes are the people who go on and on about how other teams'/regions' fans are assholes. It's the corollary of the rule that at any given party, the biggest asshole in the room is ALWAYS the one talking about how everyone else in the room is an asshole.
@daver4470: Or the one complaining about said situation.
@daver4470: I don't read fan blogs of any team, even my own. I'm talking about fans of the Celtics, some of whom are on this very site. You don't need a blog to see that.
@daver4470: Petard, meet hoist.
interesting now that the Celtics are compared to "a flock of untouchable clergymen" while some Giants players are quoted saying Brady and the Pats are not "Jesus Christ and his 12 disciples."
which leads me to an obvious conclusion: Jesus has come again, and he is Jacoby Ellsbury, the second coming of Christ. repent, sinners.
@Juancho: Um, is that a Titleist?
Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his blog. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his blog.
Garnett deserves it - he is a big, strong, smart, effective, hardworking man.
now if only he'd be a bit more willing to take the last shot....
"It was just meant to be glib"
Ugh.
I hope they can kiss, make up, and admit they're huge losers.
I own Celtic Pride on DVD so its ok to hate me
@HeavyPettingZoo: Posts should not be longer than the closer
@Jason Williams: If Riley could pimp slap you instead of trading you he would
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