Deadspin
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think.
Split the national title! The campaign climaxes tonight: AP voters need to showcase the creativity and cojones to vote a deserving Georgia as No. 1, sharing the national title with the LSU-Ohio State winner.
For every reason there is to vote LSU (or OSU) at No. 1, Georgia has an equal case. ("Didn't win a conference title?" Meh: If they had the chance to play LSU in Atlanta, don't you think UGA would have won?)
If I was an AP voter, I wouldn't even need to watch tonight's game: I would have written in UGA as my No. 1 team as soon as they finished annihilating the most prolific offense in the country.
In this most clusterfuckish of seasons, a split champ — from the same conference, no less — would be as symbolic as it gets.
LSU-Ohio State Preview: At the very least, we know one team will win a national title tonight, but I think I've seen this movie before: Top-ranked Ohio State versus an SEC champ that critics seem to think hasn't won decisively enough.
Except as dominant as that Florida defense looked a year ago, this LSU defense is even better. And as dominant as that Ohio State offense seemed heading into last year's title game, this OSU offense isn't as good.
Still, you're hearing the same criticism of this LSU team that you heard about Florida a year ago: Too few decisive performances, too many close and "lucky" wins, blah blah blah... the next morning: Blowout.
The only reason an LSU win tonight won't be as big of a rout as last year is that OSU has last year's memory to ensure it comes into the game with less of a sense of entitlement: 30-13, LSU.
(I have added incentive to root for LSU: If the Tigers win, I will win the 239-player bowl pick 'em group I set up on ESPN.com. Never won anything in fantasy ever. Thank you, back-loaded "confidence points.")
Bowl Season Hangover: In advance of tonight's title game (or "title game," if you're supporting Georgia as national champ), let's romp through the highlights from the rest of the bowl season...
Bowl Season MVP: Chris Jesse. Only the step-son of a head coach (of a bowl-winning team) could get away with the douchebaggery of being called for touching a ball while it's on the field. Or was it the douchebaggery of Jesse's you-mean-that-wasn't-intended-as-ironic MySpace page? Either way: Well done. (Runner-up: Pat White)
Best Game: Capital One Bowl. Finally coaching with the freeing feeling of nothing to lose, Lloyd Carr loosened up to embrace the spread offense, giving the finger to his successor and all the doubters. Chad Henne had the best game of his endless career. Hart the Angry Dwarf backed up the talk, even if loose lips came with a loose grip. And, since you want to hear me say it: Florida fans were hating fucking life, thank you very much. (Runner-up: Motor City Bowl)
Biggest foreshadow: Kodi Burns is Auburn's Tim Tebow. You can keep your Booty or your Henne: By next season, every self-respecting team is going to have their own version of a dual-threat QB, either one guy to do the job (ie, Dan LeFevour and Pat White) or by committee (ie, Texas' McCoy and Chiles). Just wait until Terrelle Pryor... (Runner-up: Joe McKnight, who will vie with Devine, Maclin, Harvin and Benn as "biggest all-around threat" in 2008.)
Biggest winner? Big 12. Kansas completed a dream season. Missouri proved they were BCS-bowl-worthy. Texas positioned itself as a preseason Top 5 team in '08. Oklahoma State put up 49 behind Zac Robinson's 5 TDs. Texas Tech put up a 4th-quarter comeback for a win. Only Oklahoma really stunk it up, which makes the rest of the Big 12 happy, anyway. (Runner-up: West Virginia's Bill Stewart, who got a job out of the thing.)
Biggest loser? Hawaii. For everything Boise State did for non-BCS schools a year ago, Hawaii took it all back. The Warriors talked big heading into the game, then were silenced. There is a huge difference between "unbeaten" and "best," and Hawaii helped prove it. (Runner-up: Bob Stoops. Stop wasting the Big 12's BCS bowl slot.)
Biggest confusion: How the hell did West Virginia's offense sputter against lowly Pitt, when WVU so totally gave Oklahoma the shock-and-awe treatment? There's only one explanation: They were over-Rod-ded. (Runner-up: How can the BCS continue to justify limiting conferences to a maximum of 2 schools? Expand the BCS to include the Cotton Bowl, and allow each conference a 3rd team, if worthy.)
Finally, Biggest "What If?": Oregon would have been a hell of a national champ...
P.S.: For those of you who missed the Gelf interview I did last week that put my Florida fandom into perspective, I was asked about my analysis of the Deadspin Commenters. Here's how I articulated it:
It's like the people who call into Jim Rome or other sports-talk radio are like the "before" version of Charlie in "Flowers for Algernon ," when he was mentally challenged.
The Deadspin commenters are like the super-smart "post-drugs" version of Charlie — still fundamentally retarded, but riding a tide of brilliance — that's the daily commenting stream.
Self-aware retarded kids: I salute you.
Coming tomorrow: A title-game wrap-up, a final Top 10 for 2007 — and a look-ahead to 2008.
As usual, send any questions or comments to danshanoff-[at]-gmail-[dot]-com.
Comments
That guy is the owner of a lonely Hart (jersey).
"Biggest loser?"
[closes eyes in agony, peeks]
"Hawaii"
Phew.
tard commenting > twwl commenting
@Stay Away From Oprah: Guy? I thought that was a michigan cheerleader giving herself a titty twister.
Capital One Bowl was the best game? Theres a shock and a half.
Your mom reads these comments? Has she found those Hustlers under your mattress yet?
Self-aware retarded kids: I salute you.
I thinks unwelly, there4 me is.
Deadspin commenters:
Retarded? Yes.
Self-aware? Yes.
...I forgot where I was going with this.
So Kige is a Jim Rome caller?
Georgia didn't get to play LSU in the SEC Championship, because they didn't even win their division in their conference, so they deserve to be #1. Because the would have beaten LSU, had the been given the opportunity. And the only reason they didn't have the opportunity was because another team in their division was more deserving.
So, yeah, Georgia #1.
@StupidAngelos: I may be ugly, and I may be hatefilled, but. . .what was the third thing again?
Damn, by Shanoff's argument, why not vote Florida #1? Multiple losses? Didn't win conference? Lost to inferior competition?
Go Buckeyes!! Hell, if we have to have a split, why not Kansas?
@crgfyb: "I'm a Spalding Grey in a Rick Dees world."
Georgia #1? So it is safe to assume you completely ignored all SEC games that did not involve Florida?
If they had the chance to play LSU in Atlanta, don't you think UGA would have won?
And if my aunt had nuts, she'd be my uncle. Southern Cal would have won the SEC championship too, had they played in the game. And they had as much of a right to play in it as Georgia this year.
Man Shanoff will whore himself out to any team, won't he?
The SSW is Charlie after the mouse dies.
You know what's funny about you advocating UGA as national champ?
I already had this discussion with a fellow self-aware retard commenter this morning, and we both decided that the logic behind that argument is fucking retarded.
Why is Martin Lawrence wearing a Hart jersey?
Mississippi State deserves an honorary national championship ribbon. Just look at Sylvester Croom and those puppy dog eyes.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: 'Splain to me again how this dip is any more qualified to comment on any sport, much less College Football.
@BigTenObsession: That's not Martin Lawrence, silly. It's Malcolm in the Middle.
@StupidAngelos: Dan Shanoff thinks he's so high and mighty, just because he never got caught driving without pants.
Does this make Will Alice?
The Deadspin commenters are like the super-smart "post-drugs" version of Charlie -- still fundamentally retarded, but riding a tide of brilliance -- that's the daily commenting stream.
Takes one to know one.
/first grade smack
@SUSS--: I did the same thing expecting to see a reminder of the New Year's Day drubbing.
Exceptional my ass...
Georgia? Fucking seriously?
Once again I will remind everyone of how royally fucked Auburn got in 2004.
Thank you.
To think that only a few short months ago, college football was still my favorite sport. Shanoff's nonsense has bruised my soul.
Let me remind you of the accomplishments that year:
Won SEC - Check
Beat 4 Top Ten Teams - Check
Dominated on both sides of the ball - Check
WENT UNDEFEATED IN THE FUCKING SEC - Check.
Oklahoma? Beat one top Ten team.
USC? Beat two top ten teams.
God, this still makes me angry.
No mention of Meyer getting out-coached by Carr or Teboner shitting the bed against Michigan? Way to stay true-blue, idiot.
Damn, if I can't find my helmet I'm not allowed to play outside.
So, if you don't have a conference championship, your conference is a bunch of pussies, but you don't actually have to play in it to win a share of the national title.
It's just good to know it's there.
@JohnCocktosten: Maybe someone will come up with a fake match-up between 04 Auburn and 94 Penn State and the winner will be crowned The Champion of the Teams Who Were Not Champions (TCotTWWNC).
[this sounded a whole lot better in my head than on paper]
Vandy was leading Georgia 24-9 in the third quarter, and if they'd held on to win, Vandy would have gone to its first bowl game since 1982. In short, Georgia fucking sucks.
@StupidAngelos:
Because Kansas isn't a SEC school.
Great Ian Gold jersey!
Seriously, Will, Rick, Rob, somebody? What the heck did we do to deserve this crap? We'll pay the blackmail if this and the SSW can go far far away...say to page 2?
@parker91: Ummm...OK. I will take the 2004 team over the 94 team. We have ten years on them!
Also, Auburn's rings say "National Champions" on them.
Hell, if Bama can claim half of theirs when they finished #4 or #5 in the final poll, we can definitely claim ours.
Hawaii could still be the National Champion! They only have one loss and they, too, didn't play in the SEC Championship game and...oh wait..
Georgia's "case" ends with Tennessee. They might have had the same amount of losses as LSU, but the Tigers never lost by more than 6. And Les Miles would ask that you not forget that they're undefeated when not counting overtime!
You know, if LSU wasn't deserving to play in the National Championship game, the voters could have decided that another team could have been number 2. They could have voted in Georgia as number 2, they could have voted for USC, for Kansas, for whoever. But they didn't. Instead, we have the team that was voted number 2, and the team that was voted number 1 playing against each other. Anyone who then argues for a split national championship is an idiot.
I love the SEC but please, Shanoff, go root for another conference. We really don't want you.
if we're making illusions to 'tards, well then, doesn't everybody get to be #1? YES?! Ok then, #1 and June Jones. That makes me happy to be an SMU alum. Though i'm not sure why we fired our old coach if we get a share of #1. guess those smart drugs are wearing off.
@BDoc: If LSU wins tonight (God help us), I say it should be declared by default. No 2 loss team should play for the title, much less claim it.
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: At least we'll have around 7-8 months sans Shanoff after tomorrow.
@Burning_River: Promises, promises. I want him to do a Chris Dodd and just go away.
Hell even I don't think Uga should get a split.
Please tell me this is the last Shanoff post
If the Tigers win, I will win the 239-player bowl pick 'em group I set up on ESPN.com.
Not if one of the Top 15 Deadspin Pants Party guys decides to join the group: Daily Quickie Readers. That's Daily Quickie Readers
/still 1 pt ahead
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Jimmy Hoffa would be a better description.
Once I saw DAN SHANOFF on the byline, I knew that I had to skip reading this post in order to preserve the sanctity of my brain. Let me guess, though: OSU sucks, Florida is made from the blood of Christ, and the SEC is such a power that if they were sent to Iraq, the war would be won. Am I close?
Wow, a lot of Shanoff hate going around today. I'll tell ya, I've been called a lot worse than brilliant but fundamentally retarded.
So, Rutgers didn't win the title on Saturday? Damn...
@Burning_River: I'll bring the cement. You bring the bat.
I know he wants to be more than a football star, but talking to Michael Jackson's agent was a bad move for Hart. If only for the impact on his hairline.
were talking about HAW here, not an SEC team but HAW, were talking about HAW, a team that went into OT with san jose fucking state, a team that (if Ty willingham and that bitch kent baer werent coaching) would have lost to washington, HAW, and youre blowing UGA over HAW. fuck man.
@Christ Sabo: dead on. wow I'm impressed
So the argument goes that Hawaii sucked balls, so Georgia should win the National Championship for winning what was almost a home game against said ball-suckers?
@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: I'm actually surprised Shanoff didn't find a way to argue Florida as #1...
Seriously, Georgia as #1 is so SEC centered it could have only come from Shanoff.
Why not USC?
Why not everyone else who won a BCS bowl game?
This is the Chris Jesse of Deadspin college football posts.
If Georgia should be playing for the national championship, SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE VOTED THEM TO PLAY IN THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAME. Win one game convincingly and all of a sudden you have pundits falling over themselves like they're Mangino going after a turkey sub.
I fucking swear, this is why I'd rather watch Duel than college football.